


Family of Elephants

by soprano193



Series: Little Bean [2]
Category: Castle
Genre: Gen
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2016-05-31
Updated: 2016-10-25
Packaged: 2018-07-11 07:41:51
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 9
Words: 25,029
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7038913
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/soprano193/pseuds/soprano193
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>'Alexis counted the elephants, her eyes meeting Kate’s for permission before her fingers traced their heads.  “You, Daddy, me, Carrie, and Tater tot.  There’s enough for each of us!”'</p><p>Sequel to Little Bean, written for the Castle Hiatus Ficathon 2016.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

Searing pain went up his knees as he once again fell on the ice, the front of his legs covered in the shavings from everyone’s skates, his legs getting colder each time he fell.  And once again, he grinned as Carrie giggled, skating over to help him up, more confident on her little feet than all of them put together.  “Listen, you fell when you started your bunny hops, and I never laughed!”

“You weren’t jumping, you just fell.”  Her brown eyes studied his face, her grin mischievous as she held his hands and started skating backwards, pulling him along.

Alexis swung around from behind him, her lips pulled back in the same way as her younger sister, her eyebrow up as she snickered.  “Come on, Dad.  How many years have we been doing this?  I thought you’d be better at it by now.”

His mouth dropped as he scoffed, watching his daughters zoom off, Carrie skating backwards with her tongue between her teeth.  He turned, finding his wife watching him, amusement dancing in her hazel eyes as she glided over with the stroller.  “Did you hear that?  The trained figure skater, and her sister who spends enough time on the ice that she _should_ be trained, are heckling me about my abilities.”

“There is a reason I am the one pushing our son.”

As if on cue, Oliver cooed from his stroller, his cheeks just starting to turn red from the cold.  His hazel eyes were wide as he studied his father’s face, and he didn’t smile until Rick did, allowing himself take part in the joy that swirled around them on the lake.  “I fall while pushing you one time.”

“I don’t want to chase his stroller around because you couldn’t stay up!”  She bit her lip, trying to hold in her laughter, but her eyes gave it all away.

As the girls passed again, they giggled, only catching the last bit of the conversation as they zoomed away hand-in-hand.  Rick looked at his wife, his mouth open as he tried to keep up the outrageous facade, his head shaking back and forth.  “You know they get that from you.”

She lost it then, her laughter bubbling up from her throat and brightening the world around him.  “You provide them with all the ammunition they need.”  She leaned forward, her chestnut locks obscuring her face from him as she addressed her son.  “Right Tater Tot?”  At his coo, she rose, her laughter infectious ash her eyes met his.  “See, he agrees.”

“He can’t even talk!”

“Call it mother’s intuition.  The same thing that’s telling me that he needs to go back inside where it’s warm.”

He looked out to where the girls were skating, Carrie showing Alexis how to wiggle backward.  “I’m sure we’ll join you as soon as someone is done with her lesson.”  He turned his head back to his wife, who was skating forward and looking up at him.  “Start some hot chocolate for us?”

She scoffed.  “Is that a question?”  She stretched her body up to meet him, and he guessed that if he looked down, she would be standing on her toe picks.  Instead, he watched her lips as they parted until he couldn’t anymore, until his eyes closed as their mouths met.  She let out the tiniest mewl of pleasure before pulling away, “I love you,” tumbling from her lips as she pushed their son off the ice.

The girls didn’t stay out that much longer.  Carrie practiced switching directions a few times, sometimes pulling her free leg up and over her head, and Alexis gave up on wiggling backwards and zoomed around in circles as fast as she could, the wind blowing her red braids behind her.  As the sun set more and the air cooled around them, they both glided off the ice, carefully walking to the bench he was watching them from, and switched to their boots.  Both of their cheeks were a rosy red color, and he swore there were icicles hanging from Carrie’s ringlets.  He pressed a kiss to Carrie’s head, on top of her purple knit hat.  “You’re looking great out there.  Maybe tomorrow Mom can help you with your jumps while I sit still with Tater Tot?”

Her head tilted up to look at him, her brown eyes shining with excitement.  “That sounds fun!”

“Maybe I'll be skating backwards by then!”  Alexis spoke up, hopping up from the bench and waiting by the path for her father and sister.

Rick joined her, his arm reaching around her and pulling her into him.  “Remind me why we didn't put you in skating lessons too?”

“I like violin more.  Plus, Carrie likes teaching me!”

“I'm a good teacher, Dad!”  The five year old answered from the bench, where she was putting guards on her white leather skates, packing them in her special bag that she brought to the rink with her.  She slung the bag over her shoulder, the look of determination on her face so much like her mother, it was uncanny.  “Alexis is doing a fabulous job!”

He had to laugh at the imitation of her coach, perfect down to the wide smile and the way she threw her head back as she praised her students.  As Carrie joined them, Alexis linked arms with her and they ran up the path, giggling and shouting about the hot chocolate that awaited them.

Once inside, the girls toed off their boots and sat at the table, pulling mugs of hot chocolate to their mouths and taking tentative sips, making sure it wasn’t too hot before they chugged it down.  It was something he should have done himself, instead of reaching for his own mug and taking a huge sip, the molten beverage scalding down his throat and making his eyes water.  He coughed a couple times, passing it off as if it had gone down the wrong tube, but one look from his wife told him that he wasn’t fooling her.  Even Jim, who sat across from his daughter in an oversized chair, was stifling his laughter.  At least the girls bought it, turning their heads from him and returning to their conversation.

He put his mug back down on the counter and walked over to the couch, where Kate was singing to their little one.  Oliver loved Christmas Eve.  Just like Carrie had been when she was younger, he was so interested in music.  Every time there was a song playing, even if it was just one of their ringtones, he would stop whatever he was doing and turn his head, his eyes open wide like he was in a trance, and he would listen.  After it stopped, he would get upset, his face wrinkling as he started to fuss, refusing to calm down until another song came on or he was entertained by one of his sisters.

Kate held the almost sleeping baby out to him, her voice lilting gently as she swung her voice up to the higher notes in _Silent Nigh_ t.  As he sat, he cradled Oliver close, his chest expanding with joy as the baby settled in, letting out a content sigh as he fell asleep.  Kate didn’t stop her song right away, adding another verse to it to be sure he wouldn’t wake.  When the song was done, instead of taking him straight to his crib, Rick just held him there, sitting back on the couch and cradling the infant closer.  “How is homicide treating you, Katie?”  Jim asked, once they were sure that Oliver was down.

She shrugged.  “It’s different.  Some of the cases can be boring.”

Jim chuckled, studying her face as she spoke.  “Boring how?”

Kate turned her head to look at the girls, gauging how engrossed they were in their own conversation before answering.  “You know.  The ‘you cheated so I’m taking you out cases’ that make me lose faith in humanity just a bit.”

“Is that really as prevalent as it seems?”

Her emphatic nod made the couch shake.  “There is a reason that we check out spouses and romantic partners first.  How messed up is that?”

“What’s messed up?”  A small voice asked, brown curls appearing at the side of the couch.

Kate reached out to her daughter, allowing the girl to climb up into her lap.  For as tall as she was, she still managed to make herself the perfect size to rest on her mother’s shoulder.  “Nothing, sweet girl.  I’m just talking about work.”  They had been trying to keep the true nature of Kate’s newest position away from little ears.  Alexis was starting to figure it all out, and he was sure they would need to have a talk about it with her soon, but Carrie was still five, and impressionable.  They wanted her to see the world as a happy place for as long as possible, before they reality of how unfair it could be settled in.  

Kate’s hand rubbing soothing circles into the younger girl’s back seemed to be putting her in a trance, her breathing slowing and her eyes fighting to stay open.  With both of her siblings sleeping, or close to sleeping, Alexis had started to make her way around the cabin’s living room, looking at all the pictures of Kate when she was younger.  She stopped at the bookshelf, pointing upward with a grin on her face.  “Look Kate, elephants!”

Kate’s head snapped up, her mouth stretching into a wide grin.  “Those were my Mom’s.  Bring them over here!”  Alexis obliged, handling the parade of elephants with a newfound tenderness, examining them as she walked.  The look of joy on his wife’s face was infectious as she looked at them, her fingers traveling over each elephant in the row.  “My Mom used to say that they were a family, just like us.  I always wanted two more siblings so it would match better.”

“You were enough of a handful, I don’t think we would have survived two more.”  Jim teased, making Alexis chuckle while Kate rolled her eyes.

Alexis counted, her eyes meeting Kate’s for permission before her fingers traced their heads.  “You, Daddy, me, Carrie, and Tater tot.  There’s enough for each of us!”

Kate only smiled at the girl, her fingers trailing along the branch they were walking on, her eyes far away as she thought back to her childhood.  Jim’s voice snapped her out of her trance, her eyes locking on her father as he spoke.  “You should take those home with you, Katie.”

“It’s okay, I don’t need to.”  She answered, handing them back to Alexis and pointing to the bookshelf.

Jim held up a hand, stopping the redhead.  “I never do anything with them.  They just sit here, collecting dust.  Put them on your desk at work or something, just take them with you.”  When Kate didn’t respond, he continued with a slight nod of his head.  “I mean it.  Consider it part of my Christmas gift to you.”

Kate’s eyes glistened with unshed tears as Alexis handed the sculpture back to her.  She clutched it in her hand for dear life, her thumb tracing over the trunk of the lead elephant.  “Thank you.”

The kids all went to bed without a fuss, Carrie and Oliver were mostly asleep anyway.  Kate helped Carrie change and tucked in the girls, while Rick changed Oliver’s diaper and rocked him back to sleep.  He pulled the bassinette over to his side of the bed before climbing in himself, pulling the blankets up around his shoulders.  When Kate joined him at the bed, she had the elephants and a few pieces of newspaper.  He watched her wrap them with a tenderness usually reserved for their children.  When she finished, she placed them on top of her small bag, waiting until they packed to find a better place.

He lifted the covers for her, inviting his wife into the warmth of his embrace.  She settled on his chest, running her fingers in soothing circles at his side.  “I’m sorry that we all teased you so much today.”

Laughing, he shrugged, running his hand up and down her back.  “You tease me because you love me.  If you stopped teasing me, I’d be concerned.”

Her head tilted up, hazel eyes meeting his.  “I do love you.”

He grinned, his chest expanding at her words.  “I love you too.”  Their lips met in the darkness, and he tried to ignore the moan of approval that escaped from the back of her throat.  When they pulled apart, she settled back on his chest, yawning.  “Yeah, get your sleep.  Carrie wants to do jumps tomorrow.”

Her groan made him chuckle.  “Fine.  You have breakfast duty.  I’ll try and sleep in.”  It wasn’t long until he felt her breathing slow, and they drifted off into a deep sleep together.

 


	2. Chapter 2

Routines made their lives run a little smoother.  Of course, with three children and an unpredictable job, there were bumps, but after a few years of raising children and marriage, Kate always felt like they had their heads above water.  On days when she had an early shift, she was up before the sun, showering and getting ready as quietly as possible so she wouldn’t wake her husband before their son did.  In the kitchen, she would brew a pot of coffee so it would be ready for him, taking just a small amount for herself on her drive into work.  As the coffee machine sputtered, she would hunch over the island, writing notes of encouragement to her daughters that Rick would hide in their lunchboxes.  McNulty, her new partner, teased her for it, but he didn’t understand.  He didn’t know about her mother’s case, and how she’d almost lost her family chasing down leads.  Letting the girls know that she was thinking of them, even while she was at work, had become an important ritual as she moved past her mother’s murder.

On early days, she could be home in time for dinner.  She never knew what she was walking into those nights.  Usually she interrupted their laser tag games, the girls crouched behind the couch while Rick tried to find them, the baby monitor clipped to his pants.  Once they attacked her with water guns, their laughter so infectious that it made Oliver laugh for the first time, and she couldn’t find it in her heart to be upset.  And every once in a while, she walked in to find Rick cooking, and Carrie in the living room, using her sister for support as she twirled around in a circle on inline skates and practiced getting herself in the air.  Kate took charge of the bedtime routine, reading the girls stories and tucking them in, treasuring the moments she got to spend with them.

Later shifts were different.  Those mornings she woke up to the sound of her family.  She would cook breakfast while Rick made her coffee, she would quiz Alexis on her spelling words and check homework.  Carrie kept Oliver busy while she and Rick packed lunches, Rick making the sandwiches in just the right way while she bagged snacks and placed her notes.  Then Rick would stay with Oliver while Kate drove them to school.  In the car they would talk about what they were learning, tell her about that crazy thing that one of their classmates did, or they would sing along at the tops of their lungs to the radio, all worries about whether or not it sounded good drowned out by the sound of their voices.  When they walked to the front of the school, Kate would kiss each of them, and would worry that it might be the day that Alexis decided that she was ‘“too old” for the familiar peck on her cheek. She would then return home and get ready for her shift, giving her husband a run down of their latest case as she changed, and making funny faces at her quiet son to make him laugh before leaving.

At bedtime, she got a call from Rick, and everyone would tell her goodnight and blow her kisses.  Coming home, it would be silent, only the tapping of her husband’s computer keys to greet her.  And while it was nice to have uninterrupted time with him, she missed the life that her home breathed when everyone was awake.

Then there were on-call nights.  No routine ever seemed to prepare her for those.  So when her phone rang at two in the morning, the harsh sound waking her from her slumber, she pushed herself off of her husband’s chest to reach for her phone.  “Beckett.”  She barked, making Rick startle.

“We’ve got another one.”  Her partner's voice on the other end was the last thing she wanted to hear.

She groaned, her mind flashing to the other crime scenes, victims on the ground with their hands tied behind their back.  “Same writing on the forehead?”

“Yes.  The ME will be here soon.”

Rick stirred as she stretched, his blue eyes popping open to stare at her.  “Okay.  Text me the address and I’ll be there soon.”

As she hung up, Rick rubbed the sleep from his eyes and stretched to sit up with her.  "Writing on the forehead?”

She sighed, turning her head towards him.  “We’ve found two bodies, I guess three now, where people have been shot execution style, with the words ‘try again’ written on their forehead.”

His eyes widened.  “Wow.  Taunt much?”

Kate chuckled, bending down to touch her feet.  “Right?”  She grunted as she came back up.  “The problem is, the killer is good.  He doesn’t leave fingerprints or fibers, and we can’t find connections between the victims.  So I kind of feel like I’m hitting a wall.”  Kate twisted on the bed, facing Rick, and tilted her head just enough to steal a good morning kiss.  “I want to stay but I have to go.  The faster we process the scene, the faster we can solve the crime.”

Her feet hit the floor, but before she could run away, his hand on her wrist pulled her back.  His sudden kiss made her insides flutter, the corners of her mouth turning upward as his lips pulled away from hers.  “You’ll get the guy.”  He assured her, his blue eyes warm even in the darkness of their room.

“I always do!”  She stole one last peck, his gaze so inviting that she couldn’t resist, before creeping toward the closet.  Her outfit consisted of black slacks and the first thing her hand made contact with in the closet.  It wasn’t like anyone expected her to look flawless at two in the morning.  Her feet found heels at the foot of the closet door, and she slipped into those as she used her fingers to pull her hair back into a bun.  Make-up could wait until she had to make a notification.

Rick was already asleep again as she left the bedroom, and she almost forgot to write notes for the girls on her way out.  She kept them simple, just hearts and the three letters it took to spell out ‘Mom’, and she was out the door.

When she arrived at the crime scene, Lanie was already there, crouched down and examining the body.  McNulty, her partner, was interviewing the neighbors, so she took the opportunity to kneel down next to the friendly woman.  Before she could ask for the details though, the doctor spoke, looking up from the body as she tried not to laugh.  "My guess is that you weren't anticipating the hike to a crime scene at this time of night?"

"Is anyone?"  Kate laughed, trying to figure out why the woman was so amused.  She followed the downward slope of Lanie's pen with her eyes until they landed at her feet.  She could feel the heat rising to her cheeks as it hit her, the mismatched shoes taunting her from below.  Her hands started pulling her pant legs down, and she prayed to a God she wasn't sure she believed in that no one else would notice it.  She threw her head back and groaned, making the ME giggle.  "Oh, my girls will never let me live this down!"  Neither would Rick.  The girls would tease, but Rick would bring this up forever.  He will remind her to check her shoes before she leaves every day for the next year, and then sporadically after that when she grows too tired of it.

"Please, they never have to know!  What size do you wear?"

Kate's eyebrows rose as she studied the woman, hopeful yet unsure of where this was going.  "Nine."

Lanie's dark brown eyes glanced back down at her clipboard as she wrote down another observation.  "Remind me when we get back to autopsy, I should have an extra pair of shoes in my locker."

Relief washed over her as the woman spoke, her shoulders relaxing back to their natural position as she also let her eyes travel back to the victim in front of them.  "You are a lifesaver."

"This isn't a freebie.  You can take me out for drinks some night as a thank you."  She turned again to look at Kate, one eyebrow raised as she studied the detective, waiting to see how she would react.

"Deal.  Thank you."  It came as a relief.  Why asking someone to have a few drinks after a long day was so hard, Kate would never know.  And now, thanks to getting dressed in the dark and the generosity of a woman she barely knew, she may have found herself a friend outside of the boy's club they called homicide.  "So does it look like the others?"

"So far, yes.  But I can tell you more conclusively when we get the body back to the lab."  She jerked her head toward the door.  "Your partner has his wallet.  I guess the neighbors heard the shot and called it in.  They were too afraid to come out of the apartment to see the shooter for themselves though."

Her eyes rolled back into her head.  "Great.  No eyewitnesses, no prints, no evidence.  Again."

"Don't be so sure about that, Beckett."  Her partner's voice made her jump, her hands dropping to cover her mismatched shoes from his view.  "This building may not have working security cameras, but the one across the street does, so we might get his face.  That, and the fifteen-year-old boy from next door looked through the peephole and might be able to give us a sketch."

"And CSU isn't done with the crime scene yet, so don't rule out prints."  The ME spoke without looking up, taking measurements on the bullet hole and writing down her findings.  "Don't give up hope."

Kate let out a breath as she stood, her fingers tucking the loose tendrils of her hair behind her ears.  "Right.  Sorry."  She was basing her fears off of the last two scenes, and it was a bit hasty of her to assume there wasn't evidence at the scene.  And although the sketch was promising, she knew a good defense attorney would tear it to shreds, especially if the boy only saw for a minute, or looked away because he was afraid for his own life.  She yawned, shaking her head to try and stay awake.  "Do you want me to knock on doors, see if anyone else heard anything?"

McNulty glanced at his watch before meeting her eye.  "No one is going to be happy with you.  Just a warning.  But if you're up to it, I'll head back to the precinct and start digging into his life."

She shrugged his concerns off.  "I'll be fine.  When I'm done I'll check back in with you, and then join Lanie in Autopsy."

Her partner flashed a sympathetic look, his hand carding through his blonde hair.  "I'll get you a coffee.  You look like you need it."  With that, he left, greeting the uni's guarding the door with a loud grin and handshakes as he turned down the hallway.

She did need the coffee.  And apparently, so did the people she was trying to talk to, who didn't appreciate being woken up by a young looking detective in mismatched shoes.  "Of course I heard something!  You lot have been thumping around out here for hours.  Maybe if you stopped goofing off, you'd have something!"  One woman yelled before slamming the door in her face.  Another was a young man, who hadn't seen anything but was intent on getting her number.  He threw every awkward and borderline-offensive pick up line at her that he could, despite the ring on her finger.  And once the door opened on a man, blinking the sleep from his eyes, his crying son perched on his hip, begging them to quiet down so everyone could just get some sleep.

The whole situation just made her want to scream.  There had been a murder in the apartment building.  So far, they didn’t know the killer’s motive, or why he was after the victims themselves.  The whole building could be in danger, and all they wanted to do was go back to sleep.

It was four apartments down that she got something they may have been able to work with.  She heard the usual expletives as she knocked on the door and identified herself, and a crash as the inhabitant tripped over something in the darkness.  He opened the door, dark circles under his eyes, and glared at her.  “What?  Can’t I get a moment of peace?”

“I know, I’m sorry.  I was hoping to get some information on your neighbor?  Donovan Pike from unit twenty-one?”

The man scoffed.  “Figures.  That guy has been nothing but trouble.”

She flipped to a new page in her notebook.  “How so?”

“You know.  Fighting with his girlfriend, coming and going at all hours of the night.  And then he did something to his water I think.  There was a lot of rot, and pipes needed to be fixed, and he finally managed to get the super to agree to fix it.  Of course, the maintenance guy worked at all hours, blasting his music so loud that I could hear it all the way down here.  I think Pipe, or whatever his name is, stayed with family until the job was finished.  Now he gets himself murdered and we have to listen to the cops come and go.”

She held back her eye roll, jotting down notes as he spoke.  “Do you know what company handles the maintenance requests?”

“You’d have to get that list from the super.  Can I go back to bed now?”

“Sure.  But if you think of something else, can you give me a call?”  She handed him a card, which he dropped on his table as he shrugged.  “Thank you.”  Kate managed to get out, just before he slammed the door in her face.

The girlfriend was a lead.  Maybe she would know who wanted him killed.  The maintenance man was another avenue to look into.  He could have seen something while he was at the apartment that could give them some more information.  She had half a mind to wake the super and get the number of the company that serviced the building.  But McNulty wasn’t there to approve it, and she was still the low woman on the totem pole.  So instead, she took her new information and headed out.

At the precinct, she slipped her notebook over to him and watched as he flipped through it, her hands wrapping around the tall latte cup he had left on her desk.  “I think we should get in touch with the maintenance company, maybe the man who serviced Pike’s apartment saw something that we didn’t.”  He only nodded, jotting a few things down himself before turning back toward his computer.  Kate took the opportunity to flip pages, landing on the information of the inappropriate man, and ripping the page from the book.  "If that guy calls, he's dealing with you."

"Okay."  At his affirmative answer, she nodded once and began her trek across the precinct floor.  "Where are you going?"  His voice echoed in the still empty room.

She twirled around to make eye contact, walking backwards.  "The morgue.  I need to run something by Lanie.  Thanks for the coffee!"  The cup held up in the air to emphasize that point, she turned again, so she was facing the right direction as she walked.

"I want you back here in time to make the notification."

"Got it!"


	3. Chapter 3

It almost seemed cliché that the morgue was always so cold. It was one of the first things her husband had asked about when she transferred from vice to homicide, second only to the obligatory question about how her first day had gone. "It's exactly like you think it is. It's cold and absolutely pristine." She had laughed. "What's so cool about morgues, anyway?"

His eyes had grown wide with excitement, his lips pursed together as he figured out how best to phrase whatever it was that he wanted to say." How easy would it be to break into one?" She dismissed his question at the moment, choosing to instead lift her son into her arms and cradle him close, while listening to their daughters chatter about the crafts they were doing for Christmas gifts. After she had tucked the kids in bed later that night, they spent almost two hours on the couch together as he asked her questions about the plausibility of one of his antagonists stealing a body, him taking down notes as she spoke.

Today was no different. In fact, it almost seemed colder in the early morning. Lanie waved her in with a smile, pushing the bowl of personal effects toward her. "I just turned the heat on, so hopefully it will warm up soon."

"You get that a lot, huh?" She slipped on gloves before handling any of his personal items, picking out a simple key, the number 470 etched into it in a primitive manner, like it was done at home with a hammer and a nail.

"Almost every day." The doctor circled the body, coming around to stand close to Kate. "So, how do you like the new gig?"

She shrugged as she slipped the key into an evidence bag. "It's okay, I guess. It's weird getting to know a new partner." McNulty was not like the people she'd worked with in vice. He was a stickler for the rules, only seeing things in black and white. It reminded her of the detectives who had worked her Mom's case. He had boxes that he liked to make murder fit into. Murders that didn't fit his molds made him insufferable, and until she could find a way to make it all make sense, he would work himself in circles while reviewing the same evidence over and over. The difference was, he didn't ignore evidence that pointed outside of the boxes to achieve that goal, and he always fought to bring the real killer to justice.

"At least he makes you coffee."

"Rick's is better." The words sounded ungrateful, something that didn't seem to be lost on the medical examiner. "I just mean, I would prefer to bring it from home."

"Well of course you would. I bet the coffee you drink at your house is ten times better than what the department pays for. Even I stop at a shop on my way into work so I don't need to drink that sludge." Her frank attitude helped Kate relax, the key falling back into the bowl as she reached for his wallet. "I sent the bullet over to ballistics, so we should know later tomorrow whether they came from the same gun. What I can tell you for sure is that it's the same size as the others. So far, the paint on his head seems the same, but I have to run more tests before I can determine the brand. And three officially makes the perp a serial killer, so it looks to me like you have your first big case."

Her stomach churned, whether from nerves or excitement, she wasn't quite sure. "Okay." She took a breath as she tried to settle herself, the waves in her gut subsiding. "I should go fill in McNulty. And Montgomery." A loud rumble, along with the twist of her insides, reminded her that she left her house before throwing something down her throat. "Maybe I should eat a real breakfast too."

"Don't forget about your shoes. I took my spare pair out, they're on the desk in my office."

"Thank you!" Kate offered the woman a warm smile as she backed toward her office, a tiny room next to autopsy with just enough room for a desk and a few chairs. "I'll talk with Rick tonight so we can plan for our night out."

"Just let me know. You have my number."

Kate didn't answer. Instead, her eyes fell on a picture frame at the front of the desk. Silver letters around it spelled out _Best Auntie_ , a picture inside showed Lanie snuggling two girls, one around Carrie's age and one a little younger. The Doctor looked so carefree with those girls, her happiness radiating from every pore on her body. Kate turned away to focus on her shoes, reminding herself that being distracted was what got her in this whole situation to begin with.

"And leave your shoes here." Lanie's voice made her head snap up as she startled. "No need to do the walk of shame through the bullpen."

Doing as she was told, Kate left her own shoes on the desk, her smile spreading as she walked back into autopsy. "Who taught you how to be such a life saver?"

She remained hunched over the body, taking measurements and swabs of abrasions. "When you are one of a few women in a highly competitive medical program, you learn to look out for your own." Her mind flashed back to the Academy, to her friend in robbery, Mia DiSalvo. She pushed DiSalvo on her mile, and the blonde taught her more than she thought she'd ever need to know about using someone's size against them. Together, they made a perfect team, and helped each other make top marks across the board.

Tossing one last grateful smile over her shoulder, Kate headed for the door. "I'll call you later." With a wave, she left the ME to her work, her spirits lighter as she realized she had found someone new she could relate to.

As she made her way across the bullpen, she saw her partner deep in discussion with her Captain, both of them bent over the papers he had spread all over his desk. The sound of her heels must have alerted them to her approach, as both of them looked up and greeted her long before she was anywhere near them. "Detective Beckett. It's nice to see you this morning."

She gave her captain a sad smile, stopping to look over everything McNulty had. "I wish I could say the same." More than anything, she wished the phone hadn't woke her, making her miss time with her family.

"Now what did I ever do to you, Detective?" His raised eyebrow and quizzical look had her stifling back a chuckle. "Did you find anything out from Lanie?"

"She couldn't say much conclusively, but so far, it looks like our guy. She's sent the bullet to ballistics and is running tests on the paint."

Her partner snorted. "That's what you went to see Lanie about? That couldn't wait another hour until she had more information."

Her eyes traveled down to her shoes before coming back up to meet his. "Well it was too early to do much else."

"Well, I've got a rough timeline." He pointed to his desk, where pictures and documents were spread out in a haphazard manner, seemingly no rhyme or reason as to why they were placed where they were.

She reached for them, grabbing his semi-organized piles and arranging them in her hand. "I can't see anything when you do this. Why don't you use a board like normal people?" Her Captain bit back a smile as she walked to the board, McNulty muttering under his breath about how 'his way always worked before.' It wasn't entirely McNulty's fault. His training officer had done the same thing, and that's what he and his old partner had done. But Kate had used a board in Vice, and she found it was easier to see everything when it was all spread out in an organized manner. She jotted down a few things, about Pike's girlfriend and the maintenance man, before turning back toward the men in the room. "So we talk to these people, get the sketch from the boy next door, and we'll officially be farther along than we ever have been."

"First," McNulty started, pushing his chair in as he stood, "we need to notify his next of kin."

The hair on her arms stood up as the adrenaline kicked in. Six years earlier, when Detective Raglan had shown up at her door, she never thought she would be the one making these types of house calls. Each time, McNulty reminded her that it never got easier. But she wondered if she would ever get over the general uneasy feeling that the whole situation gave her. Kate nodded once, setting her jaw as she threw her jacket over her arm. "I'll follow your lead."

* * *

After a long talk with Pike's family, and tracking down his girlfriend, there still weren't any concrete leads. McNulty had left her behind, leaving to talk to the manager of the maintenance company alone. But staring at the board, waiting for something insightful to jump out at her, made her want to bang her head against a wall. Her phone ringing was a welcome intrusion on the frustrating day. She picked up the phone a bit too eagerly, barking her name into the receiver. "Beckett."

"Wow, Mom. You sound grumpy."

"Sorry, Lex." She grinned as she spoke, resting her elbows on her desk and giving her daughter her full attention. "Not grumpy, just confused. Happy to talk to someone though! How was school?"

"Great! I got a hundred on my spelling test! I told Daddy that I had to thank you for going over my words with me."

The gratitude, while not necessary, made Kate's heart swell, and she could feel her whole body relaxing. "Aw, Pumpkin, you don't have to thank me. That's just me doing my job."

"I know. But Daddy doesn't make up songs that help me remember the tricky words."

In her mind's eye, Kate could see the redhead, singing along to the songs she'd made up on a whim, remembering when her mother used to do the same for her, and wondering if she ever looked as cute as her daughter did while she sang along. "Well, that just makes learning fun."

"Carrie wants to talk to you, so I'm gonna give her the phone."

"Okay. I love you."

Alexis' reply was muffled as the phone changed hands, the rustling in Kate's ear loud and abrasive, but her youngest daughter's voice came clear through the receiver. "Hi Mumma! Daddy's taking me to figure skating soon!"

"Good. You need to show Miss Veronica how much work you've done on your jumps."

Kate could feel Carrie's vibrations of excitement through the phone, and could see her jumping up and down. "I know! She's gonna be so surprised!"

"Yes she will! We should start calling you 'Jumping Bean' now, huh?"

Her daughter's giggle breathed a new energy into her. "Mom, stop it!"

"Make sure you find out when the next competition is, I want to make sure I get it off, okay?"

"Okay. Daddy wants his phone back. Bye, Mumma, love you."

"Bye, Carrie Jo, I love you too."

This handoff was much smoother, and she could hear her daughter scurry away as she shouted about getting ready. Her husband's voice sounded much more alert than it did that morning, his tone playful as he greeted her. "So, Derrick is having trouble with a case a lot like yours, please tell me you have some sort of insight."

"No such luck. There is a teenager coming in later who might be able to do a sketch, but any good defense attorney could get that thrown out."

"But it's such a good lead!" She could hear the frustration in his voice, the same that was inside of her head.

"I know. But the kid heard gunshots and was scared. They will try to argue that his state of mind wasn't right, that he's fabricating a face so he won't upset us, that the face could be anyone he's seen on the streets. We need hard evidence."

"And?"

She had to smile at his push for information. "Nothing more than we had yesterday."

The disappointment in his voice was genuine. "I'm sorry, Babe. I know you've been working your ass off."

"I always do. It's just frustrating to do all the work and find nothing."

"I bet." He lowered his voice, his next question only loud enough for her to hear. "Will you be home tonight?"

She glanced at the clock, stretching and yawning in the process. "If this thing with the maintenance company doesn't pan out into anything, I will be home on time."

"Good! The kids will be happy."

A throat clearing from across the bullpen made her look up. Her personal call had taken more time than she'd thought it would, and McNulty was back with notes. "Babe, I have to go. I'll see you tonight. Give everyone a hug from me."

"Will do. I love you, Kate."

She grinned, those butterflies making her stomach go wild. "I love you too." She hung up the phone, and met her partner's eye, crossing her arms defiantly over her chest. "What did you find?"

"You know the policy about personal calls?"

She sighed, her eyes rolling back into her head. "I do. We can call that my lunch break if it makes you happier. Did you find anything?"

His smug look told her everything she needed to know. "Not only did the same company service Pike's apartment, but the same worker responded to calls at the other two victim's places."

Her mouth dropped at his words, and she sat back in her seat as he wrote a name on the board under the category 'Of Interest.' "Please tell me we have a meeting with him?"

"Tomorrow, at noon. You're doing the interview."

She jotted down the info on her calendar, and typed his name, Alonzo Cortes, into her computer. "I will find out if there's anything I can use to get under his skin, and I'll let you know the plan of attack tomorrow morning."

"Good plan." He backed up toward the elevators, travel cup grasped firmly in his hand. "Now I'm taking my lunch. I hope when I come back you're not on the phone." He turned before he could see her eyes rolling.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm so sorry about the long wait! for those of you who don't follow me on tumblr, basically, I'm doing the Disney College Program, so I recently moved to Florida. They put me up in housing, and its a wonderful experience, I highly recommend it. I DO NOT recommend dropping your home state license in the Orlando International Airport. Because then the program threatens to cut you off (meaning no housing). And in case you didn't know, it is a little hard to fly home without identification... Yeah, I was too stressed out to get any writing done in the four days I had off. Thanks to my wonderful mother, who after working all night, went to the town hall where I was born (Thank GOD we still live close!) and got me a certified copy of my birth certificate, then overnighted it to me, I now have a Florida ID, and I still get to work at Disney World! Go Mom!
> 
> Thanks again to Brandi for the beta!


	4. Chapter 4

When Kate returned home, it was more subdued than normal.  Alexis was reading a new chapter book, curled up on one end of the couch, her eyes moving fast with the action on the page.  Carrie had pulled down the photo albums, her favorite activity during quiet time, and was cooing over the older pictures of herself, her curls obscuring her face as she hunched over.

As Kate pressed a kiss to the top of Alexis’ head, the girl leaned into her, acknowledging her presence, but still refusing to tear her eyes from the page in front of her.  “Good book?”  Kate’s voice seemed out of place in the quiet room, the sound amplified.  Alexis’ grunt of approval seemed to fit more, the girl pulling the book closer and adjusting her posture.  Kate ran her fingers along her braids, admiring her husband’s handiwork as she spoke again, this time her voice ore of a whisper.  “I’ll let you get back to it then.”  She didn’t expect a response back, just watched the smile dance over her daughter’s features, and moved instead to the younger body on the floor.

Carrie greeted her with a bit more enthusiasm, grinning and throwing her arms around her mother’s neck.  “You’re home!”

“I am!”  Kate’s hands ran up and down her daughter’s spine, feeling the energy that Carrie always emitted right below her fingertips.  It always made her feel better after a grueling day, reinvigorating her for the rest of the night.  It was almost better than a cup of coffee.  As Carrie pulled herself away from her mother’s embrace, Kate took a look at the photo albums Carrie had spread out on the floor.  “What are you looking at, Bean?”

The young girl’s fingers traced over Oliver’s first baby picture, her eyebrows furrowing.  “Does Tater Tot look like I did when I was a baby?”

In response, Kate reached for the album she knew was filled with pictures of Carrie.  She flipped until she found a picture of Carrie when she was around five months, as old as Oliver is now.  Their face shape was similar, and they had the same little pointed nose.  His hair wasn’t as curly as Carrie’s was, but it did have Kate’s natural wave.  And his eyes were darker than his father’s, a fact that Kate had been upset about at first.  Now she had grown accustomed to seeing her own eyes staring back at her every time she played with her son.  Kate’s hand traced the outline of the baby in the picture’s face, her chest squeezing as she realized that her little girl would never be that small again.  “I don’t know, you tell me.”

Carrie studied the picture, her eyes squinted so tight in concentration that Kate had to bite back laughter.  When she looked up, her expression was set with determination that Rick always said she got from her.  “I think he kind of looks like me.  But he still looks like himself too.”

Kate pressed a kiss to her cheek, letting her flip through the pages at her whim, and rose to her feet.  “I’m glad.  Where’s Dad?”

“He’s writing.  Tater Tot is sleeping.”  Her voice quieted from a normal volume down to a whisper, her finger coming up in front of her lips in a warning.

With that, Kate understood the reason for the odd quiet time.  She understood all too well how hard it could be to sleep in a house that was always teeming with life.  And while that provided excitement for her, it made things tough for a cranky infant who was just doing his job.

Inside her husband’s office, she was met with a sight that made her heart soar.  Oliver was curled on his chest, while he leaned back in his seat, his fingers falling ever so lightly over the keys.  The noise stopped as Rick looked up, offering her an inviting smile, his hand coming up from the keys to rub soothing circles into Oliver’s back.  “He’s been really grumpy today.  I could only get him to nap like this, the crib is his worst enemy or something.”

As he spoke, she watched the expression of joy wash over his face, his blue eyes lighting up as he gazed down at the sleeping body on his chest.  “Something tells me it doesn’t bother you, though.”  Kate teased.

At that, her husband’s grin grew.  “Not even a little bit.”  He arched his back, holding onto the baby so he wouldn’t fall, the grimace clear despite his efforts to hide it.

“How long have you been sitting like that?”

He shrugged, meeting her eye.  “Not long.  Maybe an hour?”

The chuckle fell from her mouth before she could stop it.  “Oh, is that all?”  She held her arms out.  “Let me take him for a bit.”  She ignored his protests that it might not work, that their son was crankier than usual, and not to take it personally, and lifted Oliver to her chest.  Her heart raced as he fussed at first, but his content sigh as his head rested just below her chin made breathe out a sigh of relief.  She settled into a natural rocking motion as she stood, her hands clutching him close and feeling his breath, her lips placing a kiss on the crown of his head.  She focused her eyes on the computer, still rocking with their son.  “How is Derrick doing?”

Rick shrugged, closing the top of his computer.  “He’s doing alright, I guess.  I want to revisit this chapter when I’m less distracted.”

Her cheeks warmed.  “What could possibly be distracting you right now?”

“Well, for one, you’re standing there, looking as radiant as ever while you hold our son.  For two, it is entirely too quiet in this loft, which is weird.  Also, I haven’t started anything for dinner because some little boy was asleep on me, and my stomach is growling, so I think we need to order something in.”

Her raised eyebrow made him chuckle, his eyes watching her features, looking for clues as he tried to figure out what she was thinking.  “You work better when the house is noisy?”

She laughed as his eyes grew wide, making Oliver startle on her chest.  “ _ That’s _ what you got from all of that?”

Instead of answering, she moved to one of the chairs, leaning back against the leather and freeing one of her hands, the other running through Oliver’s fine hair as he resettled.  She tried to control her giggles, worried that her shaking would startle the baby awake.  “No, I got it all.  I understand.”  She pointed toward the door with her head.  “Go order whatever you’re in the mood for.  I’m not picky.”

“You say that now.”  He teased, watching her with scrutinous eyes as he left, making her laugh even more.  Even when it was quiet, home was never dull.

Oliver woke almost fifteen minutes after Rick left.  Pushing himself away from his mother’s chest, he blinked, dazed, the sleep still clouding his vision.  Kate’s hand returned to his head, her fingers playing with the ends of his hair as she cooed at him.  “Hi sweet boy.  I heard you were grumpy today?”  His answering coo and wide grin said otherwise, his eyes wrinkling in the corners just like his father’s did.  “Is it just because Daddy gave you a late nap?  Or did you make nap time difficult?”  Both his hands came up to pinch at her face, one of them finding her hair and latching on.  She leaned down to kiss his face in response, burying her face in his chubby neck.  “Yes baby, I’m home.”

In the kitchen, she placed him in his high chair, where Rick had already laid out a few pieces of avocado and banana.  He raked the food closer to himself with his fingers, a single dimple appearing in his left cheek as he grinned, proud of the food stuck between his fingers.  Carrie giggled from her seat as she watched him, her plate still empty as she waited for Rick to fill it.  “Tater’s fingers are green!”

Kate laughed, picking a piece of avocado off of his tray and popping it into her mouth.  “I think he’s trying to make guacamole.”

From the other side of the table, Alexis sneered, her face wrinkling in disgust.  “Guacamole with Thai food?  Gross!”

Kate shrugged as she took her seat next to Carrie.  “You never know until you try it, Lex.  How do you know it’s gross?”

She shuddered, pulling her glass of apple juice closer to her.  “It just sounds gross.”

Bath time was quick that night.  Rick took care of Oliver and his green face while Kate followed Carrie upstairs.  All she ever needed to do now was help with Carrie’s hair, her curls making it hard for the young girl to get all the soap out.  Sometimes she played in the bath, sometimes she didn’t, it all depended on what she wanted to do afterward.  Today she wanted Kate to read a longer book, so she hurried herself.  Once she declared that she was all done, Kate helped her out of the bath, wrapping a Hello Kitty towel around her tiny frame and spraying detangler in her hair.  Alexis showered while they got dressed, old enough now to not need help, the wolf howls she used to do a thing of the past.  Usually, Alexis was done showering and changing by the time Kate got Carrie’s hair in a long french braid, only a few little ringlets hanging loose.  

“Can you read a Junie B. book, Mumma?”  Carrie asked, holding out one of the chapter books and looking up with dark pleading eyes.

As Kate sunk down on the bed, she yawned, her long day starting to catch up with her.  “How about if I read half of it tonight, and the other half tomorrow,  _ and, _ another short book?”

Alexis watched on with amusement as Carrie thought it over, her eyes squinted as she thought.  “That sounds good.”

So Kate fought to stay awake, reading a book about an eccentric young girl whose life always seemed to be exciting.  Despite the excitement, Carrie was falling asleep on Kate’s arm as she read, and Alexis seemed to be zoning out, her blue eyes fixated on a point behind Kate’s head, so Kate decided to end a little early.

Carrie didn’t protest when the book went away.  She just stretched and burrowed further into her covers.  As she kissed Carrie goodnight, Alexis pulled out her own book again to continue reading, her little light turned on the table next to her.  “Just a few minutes longer, okay?  Please don't stay up all night.”  Kate told her, running her fingers through her bright, thin hair.

The young girl yawned in response, and played with the bookmark in her fingers.  “Don’t worry.  I just want to finish this chapter.”

“Okay, Pumpkin.  I love you.”

Alexis stretched up for one more kiss.  “I love you too.”

Downstairs, Rick was laying Oliver down in his crib, shushing the little boy’s fussing and soothing him with a soft hand rubbing his cheek.  Kate took the time to pour them each a glass of wine, knowing all too well what would happen if she brought attention to herself.  Oliver was a mama’s boy.  He clung to her every moment he could, his hands always wrapped in her hair.  And if there was ever a time where he was passed around, she was always forced to stay nearby.  It was amazing that Rick had been able to get him to bed on his own, and she didn’t want to ruin that by announcing that she was in the room.

After a few minutes, he appeared in the living room, sans baby, with a triumphant look on his face.  “I did it, he’s down.”  He flopped down on the couch next to her, accepting his glass of wine graciously, his feet coming up to rest on the coffee table.

“I always was drawn to your strange ability to put babies to sleep.”  She teased, taking a sip before returning her eyes to the notebook in her lap.

“Well, that only worked with Carrie.  Oliver likes you better.”

The statement made her smile.  “I know.  I can’t imagine why.  I feel like your voice is just so much more soothing than mine.”  The number of times she’d fallen asleep with just the sound of his voice telling stories, whispering praises, and imagining the future, were too numerous to count.  Also, there was something about the way he held her, the way he held everyone he loved, that just reminded her that everything was alright, as long as she was in his arms.

“Have you heard the way you sing lullabies though?  All soft and warm, the sound just curling around you like silk.  It draws him in.”  At that, she blushed.  Her voice wasn’t anything special.  Her husband had been raving about it ever since the day he caught her singing on the baby monitor.  Before she could respond, her paperwork caught the attention of Rick, who leaned in to see what she was writing.  “Is this your weird case?”

She tucked the pages away, out of view of his prying eyes.  It didn’t matter who he was, or that he may understand the mind of a serial killer better than anyone on her team, he wasn’t allowed to look at her files.  “Yes.  We have a suspect, I have to interview him tomorrow.”

“Ooh!”  His eyes lit up.  “How are you gonna do it?  Are you gonna play good-cop bad-cop?”

“Rick!”  Her voice was louder than she wanted it to be, and she waited to see if the baby in the next room would start crying.  After a few moments of silence, she continued, lowering her voice.  “Interrogation is an art form in and of itself.  You need to know whether or not the suspect trusts the police, or whether they’ve had any run ins with the law.  Sometimes you have to know how they feel about women and minorities, so the best detective can get in there to either get under their skin, or relate with them on a personal level.  We don’t just  _ play _ good-cop bad-cop!”

He leaned closer, trying to peek at her files.  “I know.  I was just wondering.”

She hid papers from his view, turning the file upside down on the table next to her, hiding even the victim’s name from his wandering eyes.  She turned back to look at him, a cheeky grin etched into her features as she met his baby blues.  “Can I help you?”

“I think the real question is, can I help  _ you” _  His eyebrows wiggled playfully, and she laughed in spite of the tough exterior she was trying to project.

Even though McNulty would have cringed if he knew, she opened the file, allowing her curious husband to look through.  Knowing him, he would have stolen it while she was sleeping anyway.  “If you were Derrick,”  she started, pushing her notes about Alonzo Cortes in his direction, “how would you handle this?”

* * *

 

She went into her interrogation the next day armed with a plan.  And after running it by McNulty, she found herself in the room, alone, with their only suspect.  He sat across the table, his shoulders hunched, his eyes frantic as he studied the room.  He looked to be almost forty, with dark eyes and sandy hair.  And from the fearful expression he shot her, he didn’t seem to like being in that room at all.  “Hello Mr. Cortes.  You’re probably wondering why we pulled you in here?”  At his slow nod, she sat, offering him a fake smile, hoping he might trust her.  “We just have some routine questions to ask.”

At this, the man in front of her relaxed, taking years off his face as his eyes softened.  “The cop who brought me in said homicide.  Please tell me, is my family okay?”

Her heart fell at his words, and for a moment she wondered if he was even guilty.  “Yes Mr. Cortes, your family is fine.”  She shuffled the crime scene photos to the back of the pile.  “You do handiwork for a whole host of buildings in the city.”

Cortes nodded, looking away from her, his eyes flickering as he thought.  “I count maybe forty buildings?  I don’t know, I go where they tell me to.”

“Did you go to the buildings of Monica Raymond, Dillon Smith, and Donovan Pike?”  As she said each name, she placed a DMV photo down, searching his face for any sort of recognition.  Nothing flashed across his face.  Not pride, no remorse, not even sadness, leading her to believe that he didn’t even know they were dead.  

He studied the pictures, looking deep into their eyes, before locking eyes again with Kate and shrugging.  “To be honest, I don’t always see the people I’m doing work for.  Sometimes I go because the super said it was okay.  If you say I did work in their apartments, it’s probably true.”  He leaned back in his seat.  “What happened to these people?”

His concern seemed genuine, paired with softening eyes and falling shoulders, so she held back the photos of the crime scenes and instead just pointed at the DMV photo she’d already set out.  “Well, Ms. Raymond was killed two weeks ago.  Mr. Smith was found dead about nine days ago, and then two nights ago, someone found Mr. Pike.  They were all tied up and shot at close range, and so far, you’re the only connection we’ve found.”

Cortes’ eyes grew wide, and his hands flew to the sides of his head.  He shook his head, muttering to himself as he held back tears.  ‘You don’t understand, I could never do something like this.”

She’d be lying if she said she’d never heard that before, oftentimes it was the real killer trying to look innocent.  Except Alonzo didn’t look like he was trying, the fear on his face seemed genuine.  So she dropped her tough exterior and stopped searching for cracks in his, and instead offered him a pen.  “So prove it.  Give me an airtight alibi for one of these days, and I promise, you’ll walk out of here today with our thanks.”

His shoulders relaxed, and he stared back at her with a determination she hadn’t seen from anyone sitting across the table from her.  “What were the dates again?”

“The fourth, the eighth, and the seventeenth.”

It didn’t take him as long as she would have thought, his shoulders dropping with relief, a small smile tugging at the corners of his mouth.  “The seventeenth.  I was out of state, in Chicago, at a funeral for my Mother-in-law.”

“You have witnesses that can corroborate that?”

“Are you kidding, I’ve got loads.”

She pushed her notebook across the table.  “Names and numbers, please.”  The pen moved fast in his hand, the list of people who could vouch for him growing steadily.  “And we’ll have to check it real quick, but you can go within the hour.”  His grunt of gratitude was all she got in response.  And she watched in silence as each name he wrote washed away the only lead they had.  This was going to be a tough ride.


	5. Chapter 5

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you Brandi for the beta!

Kate’s investigation petered out after her interview with Alonzo Cortes.  Rick knew it hadn't amounted to anything as soon as she got home that night, the frustration etched into the lines of her face.  She snuck upstairs to give their already sleeping girls a goodnight kiss, helped him get Oliver down because he wasn’t as successful the second night, and poured herself a large glass of wine.  She sat with it on the couch, her head thrown back in defeat, her eyes closed to block out the world around her as she thought.

Rick sat down next to her, his fingers playing with the ends of her hair, his eyes studying the tension on her face.  “What if your suspect has an evil twin?”  Her mouth twitched, just a hint of a smile forming, spurring him on.  “And that evil twin really wants to take over his life, so he sets Alonzo up to take the fall!”  At this, her eye popped open, just one.  Green with flecks of gold studying him, trying to gauge how serious he was.  “And as soon as Alonzo is taken down, he’ll swoop in, making nice with Alonzo’s wife, bonding with his children, taking over the business, being a better Alonzo than the real one would ever be!”

Her eyebrows arched, her face a mixture of disbelief and amusement as she rose her head to look at him.  Her mouth was pursed as she figured the best way to respond, and her hand reached for his and held on tight.  “Babe.  You’ve got all these crimes running around in your head, crimes that you write about and actually make them sound convincing, and the best you can come up with for my case is ‘evil twin’?”

“Kate, it’s a concept that has been around for ages.  The fear had to come from _somewhere_.”  Her eyes rolled in that spectacular way that seemed to be only reserved for him, so he took the opportunity to reel her in now that he had her listening, hoping to bring some sort of joy and happiness to her day.  “Besides, how long has it been since someone had a real-life evil twin?  Law of averages would suggest that it should probably happen again in the near future.  Why not this case?”

“Rick!”  Her voice was sharp and exhausted, and the hint of her smile had disappeared.  “He had a pretty solid alibi.  Don’t you think an evil twin would have at least tried to make sure that Alonzo was in the same state?”

This made him pause.  Because of course it made sense.  If Alonzo number two wanted to frame Alonzo number one, making sure Alonzo number one didn’t have an alibi would be high on his list of priorities.  “Out of state?”  Her grimace told him everything he needed to know.  “And I guess it checked out?”

“He was at his mother-in-law’s funeral.  His wife’s cousin told us, and I quote, that as much as he thought it would be funny to watch Alonzo fall, he was definitely in Chicago for three days.”  She punctuated this with a sharp intake of breath, followed by a sip of her wine.  “And then there was the rest of the family who confirmed his attendance.  It’s solid.”

“That’s tough.”  She leaned back again, her eyes closing as she thought.  But his brain had been working too, anything possible to keep this theory alive.  When he had his solution, he couldn’t hold back, forever driven by his urge to see just how his wife would react.  “This is where I would throw in a twist.  Like, maybe Alonzo was the evil one all along, and forced the good twin to attend the funeral.”  Now she was biting the inside of her cheek, trying and failing to hold in her amusement.  “But that way, his alibi is all taken care of, and he is free to commit more murders.”

Now she faced him, ready to disprove his theory, her game face on as she dismantled his plot.  “Okay, but what is his motive?  And how does he have that sort of hold over Alonzo number two?”

He raised an eyebrow and trained his eyes on hers.  “You know how Alexis does that thing with me when she wants something, hugging me and batting her eyelashes so she knows I’ll agree?  Or how Carrie sneaks things into the shopping cart and acts surprised when we ask how it got there?”

“You mean the way our daughters try to manipulate us?”

He brought his finger to his nose.  “Exactly.  All kids do it, Kate.”  He moved closer to her, tucking one of his legs underneath his body so he could turn to face her better.  “Now imagine you have your entire life to manipulate a twin.  Maybe Alonzo number two felt inadequate somehow.  Maybe he thought number one was smarter, or taller, or more popular.”  At this, he could almost see her consider it, the switch in her brain flicking his way for a brief moment.  “And maybe number one exploited that to get number two to do his bidding.”

There was silence between them as she studied his face, getting an idea of how serious he was about all of this.  “You never told me Alonzo number one’s motive.”

“Easy.  He’s a psychopath.”

And he lost her.  She pushed away, rolling her eyes.  “Not likely.  Psychopaths make up maybe one percent of the population.  Not all of them are criminals either.”

“I know!”  She laughed at his exclamation, allowing him to pull her in closer as he leaned back, so she was resting against his chest.  He pushed her hair out of her face and kissed her temple, holding her tight as she snuggled closer.  “You’ll get the guy.  I have faith in you.”

“Thanks, Babe.  It means the world.”  With that, she tilted her head, her lips connecting with his for the first time since she had left that morning.  When they separated, her head again resting on his chest, she asked about Alexis’ violin practice, leaving the case behind her and focusing on their life together at home.

* * *

 

His phone rang as he was finishing Alexis’ braid, her soft hair falling from his fingertips as she bounced away, yelling for her younger sister.  “Castle residence.”  The phone rested between his cheek and shoulder as he turned to get the youngest in the clan ready.

“Hi, Babe.  I’ve got all the case related things put away, the murder board is hiding in the conference room, and all the criminals have either gone to a holding cell, or gone home for the evening.”

“So what you’re saying,” he crooned, leaning down to engage with Oliver, “is that it’s safe for little ones to come and visit!”

“Exactly.  This way the girls can say hi to Cap, and we can walk to the rink all together.”

Oliver grinned as Rick sat him up to help his chubby arms through the sleeves of his Spiderman sweatshirt.  “I think that sounds like an excellent plan.  Carrie is all dressed, Alexis is putting on her jacket, and we should be able to get there on time for once.”

Her laughter on the other end made him smile as he lifted their son and brought him out to relax with the girls.  “Don’t jinx yourself, Babe.  If you’re late, Carrie may never forgive you.”

He placed Oliver down in Alexis’ lap, and instead went to watch over Carrie, who was packing everything she might need for her show.  “I know.  We’ll be fine.”

“Okay.”  She didn’t sound too sure, judging by the smirk he could hear in the edges of her voice.  “I’ll see you all soon.  Love you.”

“We love you too.”

He had only just hung up the phone when Carrie looked up at him, her eyes brimming with tears.  “I can’t find my lucky necklace.”

He groaned, reaching behind his head to scratch his neck.  Kate wouldn’t let him her the end of this one.  “Where do you last remember having it?”

“I don’t know!’  At this point, the five-year-old broke, her tough exterior cracking as tears streamed down her face.  “I remember having it at Papa’s house, but I don’t know if I had it here.”  She threw her head back in defeat.  “I can’t compete without my lucky necklace!”

The first thing he had to do was calm the upset child.  Kneeling down to her level, his knees cracking as he sank, he reached his hands out to wipe the tears from her cheek.  “Carrie Jo, I really need your help, okay?”  He spoke in his softest voice, her cries quieting to a whisper.  “I need you to stay nice and calm so we can find it together.”  At this, she swallowed, setting her jaw in a determined glare, much like her mother, and nodded once.  “Okay.  When was the last time you wore it at Papa’s?”

Her eyes looked up as she thought.  “I remember wearing it when Santa came, because he told me it reminded him of the North Pole.”

Rick grinned, remembering the moment.  “Because it’s shaped like a snowflake.  That’s right!”  Carrie nodded, sniffling a little, but still just as determined.  “Do you remember having it in the car on the ride back?”

She fixated again on a spot behind him, her brown eyes flickering as she tried to remember.  But her crumpling face told him that it wasn’t working, and she answered with a strangled sob.  “No.”

“Okay, okay, okay, just stay calm.  It’s hard remembering things.”  He reached out to place one of her stray curls behind her ear, letting his voice grow even softer as he tried to keep her calm.  “So when we were in the car and Tater Tot grabbed it, was that on the way to Papa’s house, or the way home?”  He could still hear her shrieking in the back, begging the infant not to break it.  Alexis had to help pry his hands off, and offered up her finger for him to munch on instead.

At this new suggestion, her face lit up, her jaw dropping with realization.  “That was on the way home!  I know because I put the necklace in the purse that Papa gave me so I wouldn't lose it!”  She jumped up next to him and raced for the stairs.  “Thank you for helping, Daddy!  I’ll be right back!”  He breathed out a sigh of relief as she rushed off, relief washing over him.  Crisis averted, without taking up too much of their time, And they still wouldn’t be late to Carrie’s competition.  Not that he was going to risk saying it out loud.

Minutes later, the five-year-old hopped down the stairs, her hand thrust out in triumph, the small snowflake necklace hanging from her fingers.  “Can you help me, please?”

“Of course, Bean, anytime.”  She turned and bowed her head, waiting patiently while he fumbled with the tiny clasp.  Just as he was about to call for Alexis and her dainty fingers, he got the opening to hook into the loop, and dropped the chain on the back of Carrie’s bare neck.

She always looked older somehow in her skating outfits.  The fabric was always tight and stretchy, hugging her small but muscular frame.  And he hated how short he skirts were sometimes, but understood that longer ones may trip her or impede her tricks.  Something about her hair pulled back as tight as it was always made her look more like Kate, the angles of her face standing out more when the softness of her curls were missing.  But then she would smile at him, with her toothy grin, and he would remember that she was still his little girl.  “Thanks!  Are we ready to go?”

His hand found the small of her back, and pulled her in for a quick hug.  As her little arms wrapped around his waist, he answered her. “We are now.  Get your jacket, and let’s go get Mom.”

When they got to the station, ten whole minutes later than he planned, Kate was waiting at her desk, one eyebrow raised as she watched them come from across the bullpen.  But she couldn’t glare at him for long, not when two girls went flying at her with arms outstretched.  After quick hugs and a flurry of noise. They each grabbed an arm and started chittering away about not being late.  The whole scene was hilarious to watch, and even Kate couldn’t hide her amusement as they yanked her toward the door.

It was a booming voice from the doorway behind their mother that made them stop.  “What is all this commotion out here?”

Carrie reacted first, her mouth dropping as she made her way around her mother.  “Cap!”

Captain Montgomery’s face broke into a grin at their pet name for him, his eyes twinkling as both girls reached him and wrapped their arms around his waist.  “I swear, you girls make more noise than some of the perps we bring in here.”

They giggled as they pulled away, Alexis muttering apologies as her face turned as bright red as her hair.  Kate took the moment while they were chatting up her commanding officer to take Oliver from her husband’s arms, placing a work -appropriate kiss on his lips before prancing away with the baby.  Rick took the time to sit on the edge of Kate’s desk, watching his girls interact with the Captain.  Montgomery listened with wide eyes and rapt attention to everything he had missed since the last time they talked.  He laughed in all the right placed, nodded along, and asked thoughtful questions in all the right places.  No wonder he was the girls’ favorite officer to visit.

After a few moments, Carrie looked up, concern etched into her little face.  “Mom, what time is it?”

Kate shifted Oliver into her hip and glanced down at her watch.  “Time to go.  Say goodbye to Captain Montgomery.”

“Goodbye Cap!”  Their voices chorused as they hugged him one more time.  And then they were back to rushing both of their parents through the door, this time pulling on both of Rick’s arms.

Montgomery just waved from the doorway of his office as the elevator doors closed, the grin he put on for them still plastered on his face.  “Bye, girls.  And break a leg, Carrie.”

The rink where Carrie was competing was small, with bleachers on one side, and the backstage area in another.  After dropping her off with one of the backstage moms, wishing her luck, and watching her disappear behind the curtain, Rick joined his family in the lower section of the bleachers.  Oliver was resting against his mother’s chest, and Alexis was watching the skaters warm up, her blue eyes open wide and her mouth dropped open in wonder.  Rick sat down and nudged his wife, thrusting his head told his oldest daughter.  “Remind me to sign her up for figure skating lessons next year.”

Kate chuckled, adjusting her hands around a tired Oliver and resting her head on his shoulder.  “Just talk to her about it first.  She might be much older than the other kids in her class.”

“What makes you think I wouldn’t talk to her?”

At this, his wife raised her head, one eyebrow raised in disbelief as she studied him.  “Babe, I know you.  You’d register her as a surprise, not tell her, and then be surprised when she didn’t like it as much as you thought she would.”  As she vocalized his exact plan, he couldn’t help but chuckle, pulling her back into him as they waited for Carrie’s event.  “It might be better to have Carrie work with her, and then try to get her enrolled in a class with kids closer to her age.”

“You’re right.”  He agreed, his arm wrapping around her back and resting on her hip.  “You know me too well.”

They couldn’t talk much longer as the announcers began the event, thanking their sponsors and introducing the singer for the national anthem.  At that point, Alexis joined them on the bench, sitting and waiting patiently for her sister’s round.  

They went oldest to youngest, bringing out the fourteen-year-old's first.  They had worked hard, landing jumps that Carrie could only dream of doing at the time, and holding their partners above them in amazing stunts.  Then came the eight-year-olds, who mostly danced in group numbers, with a few featured soloists.  And last was Carrie’s age group.

First was a group dance, with about twenty other skaters, holding hands and dancing in circles around the ice.  In the center was a boy dressed up like a young lion, a featured soloist, as music from The Lion King played in the rink.

Next was Carrie’s trio, where each girl took turns hopping over the ice.  Sure, she could only make half turns when she jumped, and yes, she did fall once, but that girl’s energy never fell while she was on that ice, and he couldn’t take his eyes off of her.

They met her at the curtain backstage, her little trophy clenched in her hands and an expression of pure joy on her face.  “Look what I got!”

Kate cradled the now sleeping Oliver to her chest as she leaned down to press a kiss to the top of her daughter’s head.  “That’s amazing, Bean!  You did wonderful out there!”

“Thanks!”  And just like that, her face fell, no warning or reason, causing him to sweep her up in his arms with a grunt.  “Miss Veronica said that when I fell it was quick, so no one knew.  Is that true?”

He watched Kate pout as she reached out with her free hand to stroke Carrie’s cheek.  And before he had time to think about it, he put on a goofy face and tickled the younger girl’s sides.  “What?  You fell?  I didn’t notice it!”  The young girl laughed in his arms and flailed to get down, but he held on tighter and became more serious.  “Listen to me, okay?  We all make mistakes.  You will fall sometimes, and I will spell words wrong sometimes.  It doesn’t mean you aren’t good at what you do, okay?”

“Okay.”

He placed her down.  “So, be proud of your accomplishments!  You won a trophy today because you were wonderful!”

“Yeah!”  She held it up in the air, just in case anyone had missed it the first time around.

“Now let’s go home!  Ice cream for everyone!”  He enthused, making his wife chuckle behind him.

“Yeah!”  Alexis joined in, her grin wide as she looked up at him.  She moved toward Carrie, slipping her hand into the younger girl’s hand, and squeezed.  “You did beautifully, we were all proud of you.”

And with those words, Alexis had said everything they needed to say.  Rick draped Carrie’s jacket over her shoulders, took each of his daughter’s hands in his, and started the walk home.


	6. Chapter 6

Putting Oliver down for a nap should be an Olympic sport.  From walking around in circles, bouncing him until he calmed, to the rocking motion of Rick’s body, and the mental focus needed to not break down in tears with his screaming son, he always felt like he was getting a workout.  This time was almost worse.  With two more bodies being found with the same MO, Kate had been working overtime, to hunt down every possible lead.  Oliver missed his mother.  So did the girls, who grew antsier each day Kate couldn't make it home before bedtime.

It took about a half hour to get Oliver settled enough to put him down, making sure he wouldn't wake up during the transfer from chest to crib.  He startled as he was shifted, his face wrinkling and hands coming up to his head.  But once he’d settled, Rick pumped his fist in the air, a silent cheer, and began to tiptoe out of the room.

But it seemed that fate had a different plan that day, one that involved his oldest running down the hallway at top speed, shouting as she came, unaware of the struggle he’d just endured.  “Dad!  It’s the last day before my spelling test, I need you to go over words with me!”

Of course, her thundering feet only startled his son, who woke with a strangled cry once he realized he was no longer being held.  Alexis’ eyes grew wide in the doorway, her frame shrinking as she realized what was happening.  “I’m sorry, Daddy.”

"Alexis!"  Rick snapped.  "There's a baby in the house now.  I need you to try to be quieter every once in a while."

As he lifted his son, he watched his oldest's frame shrink some more, her face wincing as he shouted.  "I know, I said I was sorry."

It made him realize the harshness of his words, as she physically moved away from him, so he took a breath while bouncing Oliver before answering.  "I know, Pumpkin.  Just give me some more time and I'll help with your spelling words."

With her mouth clamped shut, Alexis nodded, as if she was afraid to say anything, and backed away, tiptoeing out of sight.  Rick returned his attention to his now grizzling son, who buried his face in his dad's neck, his fingers grasping his t-shirt, begging not to be put down again.  "Oh, Tater Tot, as much as I want to hold you all day every day, at some point you do need to lay down for a nap."  He kept his voice low and smooth, rubbing long circles over his son's back, hoping to soothe the very sleepy boy back into dreamland.

They paced around the nursery, Rick talking about anything he could in that relaxing tone of voice, hoping the baby would get bored and just relax, while Oliver fought sleep by making every noise back that he could.  It was days like these that Rick wished Oliver was more like Carrie, who still always fell asleep whenever he held her for long periods of time.  His mind flashed back to new-year's eve just a year and a half prior, after the party in Times Square that they attended on Alexis' request.  Carrie begging to be held because her feet hurt, so he lifted her, letting her head rest on his chest, while Alexis held on tight to Kate's hand.  By the time they got to where the car was waiting for them, Carrie was snoring in his ear, her frozen curls hanging in her face.  Rick told this story to Oliver, his hand never ceasing that long, circular path it made on his back.

It took almost another half-hour, but at some point Oliver stopped grizzling or answering back.  His sobs turned to hiccups, his pink eyes closed as his fingers released their grip from Rick's shirt.  And after a few more minutes, he was able to transfer the baby successfully into his crib without any issues.  Rick followed his daughter's lead and tiptoed from the room.

Before he could make it to the kitchen, where he knew Alexis would be working on her homework, his cell phone began vibrating in his back pocket.  The screen on the front read _The 12th,_ so he picked up, a plea ready in his voice.  "Please say you're coming home tonight?"

"Rough day?"  She asked, her voice laced with concern.

"Oliver won't sleep, and I snapped at Alexis when she woke him."

"I'm sorry.  I wish I could be home to help a little more, but this case has just blown up, and I don't have much of a choice."

"It's okay, I understand."  He ran his fingers through his hair.  "But something tells me you aren't making it home tonight."

"No."  The regret in her voice made his heart break.  He didn't mean to make her feel bad.  In the five years he'd known her, and the three she'd been on the force, there had only been one other real case that kept her from her family.  When that case was finally over, after around two weeks, she'd stayed home for three days, catching up on her lost time, giving him a few days to himself.  It wasn't her fault that a crazed killer was out on the loose.  "But I need some advice."

"Shoot."  Alexis looked at him funny as he made his way past the counter, holding up one finger to ask her to wait, and then shut the door behind him in the office.

"Montgomery wants me to stake out Alonzo.  So far he's the only tie we have to the other murders, but he has solid alibis.  As in, security cameras following him all night, solid.  So, the Captain wants me and McNulty to find out if anyone is following him or whatnot.  He's got us scheduled for tonight, and officers borrowed from other departments to continue for the next couple of days."  He could hear papers shuffling on her desk, and a drawer opening and closing.  "But I've gone through everything in my spare overnight bag, and I haven't eaten good food in days.  But I don't know if it's better for me to come home for a few minutes to grab those things myself, or for you to bring them to me."

He sighed.  "That's a tough one."

"I know, I'm sorry.  But Montgomery also said that after the stakeout tonight, he'll let me have two days off."

At that, he perked up.  Two whole days of her at home, helping with breakfast, making school lunches, and checking homework.  Two days to make up for the lost time, to put Oliver back in a good mood, to restore a sense of normalcy to their lives.  It seemed too good to be true.  "That sounds great."

"I know, it's the bright spot that I've needed over these last few days."  She had that soft tone in her voice, like she was looking at the hidden family pictures she kept in her drawers, far from the eyes of the criminals they brought in every day.  "So here's my dilemma.  Asking you to bring everyone down here is going to mess with your schedule for the day, and I don't want to do that.  But I also don't want to sneak home for a few minutes, gather my things, and leave again, because I think that will just upset the kids more than anything."

"I wouldn't worry too much about our schedule, Oliver hasn't been following it so well.  He just went down for his nap."

"Right, because Alexis woke him.  I'm sorry, honey."

"It's not your fault."  Rick sat back in his chair, his feet stretching to rest against the back of his desk.  "If you want, we can come after he wakes up?  We could bring you dinner too, the girls can say 'hi' to Cap, and it might be enough to help them get their mommy fix until tomorrow."

He could hear the smile curling around her lips.  "That sounds wonderful.  You're sure it's not too much of an imposition?"

"Of course not!  I'll call you before we leave so you can cover the murder board."

"Okay.  See you then.  And thank you."

Now it was his turn to smile, his head tilting to the side to hold the phone closer to his ear.  "Anytime.  I love you.  Stay safe."

"Of course.  Love you too."  And with that she ended the call, probably worried about McNulty yelling at her for personal calls on the clock, or getting back to dismantling the lives of all their victims.  So he returned to the job at hand, parenting their children.

Alexis was still seated at the table, bent over her homework, her bright hair hanging over and obscuring her face from him.  He wrapped his hands around her, feeling her stiffen and relax as she realized who was behind her, her small fingers brushing her hair behind her ears.  "Hi, Dad.  I'm sorry I woke up Oliver."

He pressed a kiss to her hair before responding.  "And I'm sorry I snapped.  He hasn't been sleeping so well since Mom has been on this case.  I think we all miss her."

"I know I do."  She leaned back into him, revealing what she was working on.  It was math, measuring angles and classifying triangles.  Her purple protractor lay abandoned on the paper as her arms came up to wrap around his.  "Is she coming home for bedtime tonight?"

"Not tonight.  But she needs some supplies from us, so we're going to visit her once Oliver wakes up."

His little girl wriggled in his arms as she turned to face him.  “Is Cap there?”

He laughed, letting her go so she could be free to celebrate.  “What is Mom, chopped liver?”

“Of course I want to see Mom,” her blue eyes rolled as she explained, “but we don’t get to see Cap as much.”

“Oh, I see.”  He shuffled through the pages on the table, finding her spelling words.  “Let’s go over these real quick before Tater Tot wakes up.”

Watching her reel in her excitement and begin to focus was amusing, her body still thrumming with joy as she sat in her chair to face him.  “Let’s do them twice, just to be safe.”

They did her words three times before she let him get away, so he could go upstairs and make sure Carrie was ready.  She was just as excited as her sister, jumping around until he reminded her that her brother was sleeping next door, and that waking him wouldn’t mean that they would leave earlier.

He cooked dinner, a tater tot casserole he had discovered while Kate was pregnant that he was sure would bring a smile to her face, and woke Oliver after an hour and a half.  Any longer and he wouldn’t sleep that night.  After changing a diaper, feeding the kids and himself, and having the kids help him pack her overnight bag, they all left, decked out in their jackets and hats, fighting the chill of New York City in March.  He called Kate from the elevator, almost forgetting that she had a board with crime scene photos to cover.

They met Cap as they came off the elevator, the older man leaving to join his own family.  But he stopped all the same, giving each of the girls a hug and commenting in how much Oliver had grown in the few weeks since he’d seen them.  Carrie told him all about winning a trophy, and Alexis told him all about the books she was reading for school.  Montgomery did what he always did, and listened with wide eyes and a soft smile, his attention locked on the two of them.  “Alexis, when my daughter was your age, she loved this series of books about shadow children, who fought for recognition from their government.  Maybe we still have those books at home, if you'd like?”

Alexis’ face lit up at that, her grin stretching across her cheeks.  “I would love that, thank you!”

Montgomery switched his attention to the youngest girl, her brown curls sticking out from under her purple hat in awkward angles.  “And you tell your Mom that next time, I want video of your competition.”

Carrie nodded once before running to the back of the precinct.  “Mom!  Mom!  Cap wants video of my next competition!”

That resulted in an eruption of giggles from the group left standing at the elevator.  Even Oliver joined in, afraid to be left out, his laughter loud and forced.  Rick adjusted his son’s jacket, pressing a kiss to the baby’s temple before addressing Montgomery.  “Well, I should go contain her, and we should let you get home to your family.”

“I appreciate that.  And Beckett is all yours for the next two days starting tomorrow morning.”

“We can’t wait.”  As Rick answered, Alexis attacked the older man with a fierce hug, the thought of getting her Mom back for two whole days almost too much for her to handle.  She pulled away after a few seconds, following her sister down the hallway.

The overnight bag that Carrie had been in charge of now rested at Kate’s feet, and the young girl was begging her mother to use her computer to find where they could buy a video camera.  Rick dropped their squirming son into his wife’s waiting arms.  His now free hands made their way to her shoulders, his fingers working over the knots that had appeared over the last few days.  “I think we have a camera at home somewhere, Bean.”  He watched her eyes snap to him as he spoke, narrowing as she tried to figure out if he was telling the truth.  “Right now, Mom hasn’t seen you in a few days.  She doesn’t want to spend her short time with us looking things up on her computer.”

“But I promise, I will look for it tomorrow, after I get a little sleep.”  Kate reassured, leaning forward to press a kiss to her daughter’s forehead.  She turned her attention to the redhead, who had dragged a chair over to sit beside Kate’s desk.  “And how is Harry Potter going?”

Alexis beamed.  “I’m almost done!  Daddy is going to get the second one for me soon!”

“I’m glad you’re enjoying them!  I might need to steal the first one from you once you’re done with it.  McNulty has been telling me how good they are.”

Alexis’ nose scrunched up, a shy smile ghosting over her features.  “McNulty likes Harry Potter?”  It was a question that didn’t surprise Rick.  Unlike Captain Montgomery, McNulty never made a good impression on the girls.  He was too harsh with them, always thinking they were too loud, and expected them to stay confined to Kate’s desk area.  He had expressed his worries with Kate, about how they might accidentally ruin a piece of evidence that they left hanging around, and he did try to connect with them when they were here.  It just never made the same impact as Montgomery.

“He does.”  Kate answered with a nod of her head.  “He’s got a little boy, just a few years older than you, and they trade the books back and forth.”

Carrie, hating to feel left out, crowded in with Kate, her hands wrapping around her mother’s arm.  “Can you start reading me that at night?  Just a chapter a night?”

With one free hand, Kate brought her hand to Carrie’s face, her thumb caressing the girl’s cheek before tucking stray curls behind her ears.  “We’ll see.  We need to finish Junie B. first.”

“Mom, can I see the elephants?”  Alexis interrupted, her eyes locked on the porcelain pachyderms.  “I promise I’ll be careful.”

Kate took a moment to think about it before reaching for the parade on her desk, grasping it by the base and moving it with care.  “Hold them in your lap, please.”

“Will do.”  Her fingers traced over the saddles, one hand gripping the base firmly so they wouldn’t fall.  “I think they’re cute!”

Carrie abandoned her mother to join her sister, her hands grabbing the note tucked away in the elephant’s trunk.  Whatever it said didn’t interest her, and she instead fiddled it in different ways trying to make each elephant hold the note a different way.  With both the girls occupied, and Oliver more than content watching them, resting against his mother’s chest, Rick took the opportunity to address his wife.  “There’s two changes of clothes in there, your emergency travel deodorant, a toothbrush, and leftovers from dinner.  Tater Tot casserole.”

“This is why I love you.”  She tilted her head as she said that, craning her neck to meet him halfway, their lips meeting briefly before drawing ire from the girls.

“Eww.” They chorused, making Oliver giggle and their parents go in for another kiss, just to spite them.

“Gross, stop that!”  Alexis cried, her hands coming up to cover her eyes.

But without either of the girl’s hands on the elephants, they slid on Alexis’ satin dress, falling to the floor in slow motion, and landing with a deafening crash.

Alexis was hysterical, apologizing as tears sprung to her eyes, her arms bunching up her dress.  Carrie backed away, her bottom lip between her teeth as she watched with wide-eyed shock.  And Rick fell to the floor, looking at just how bad the damage was.  He could hear Kate reassuring Alexis, her voice a mixture of soothing and distress as she fought to make sure her daughter wouldn’t know how upset she was inside.

Rick picked up the big pieces, fitting them together like a jigsaw to see the damage.  “It actually doesn’t look that bad.  I may know a guy who can fix this, good as new.”  The head elephant had broken off at the base, but was still mostly intact, other than the saddle.  The saddle lie in a few pieces, and he took the time to gather them.  In all, it looked as if only a few holes in the base would remain, the only evidence of the imperfection.

But under Kate’s chair, something different caught his attention, something other than white and red porcelain.  He reached for it, his hand connecting with plastic, and handed it up to his wife.  “Do you need this?”

Her eyebrows knit together as she inspected it, pulling it away from her body so Oliver wouldn’t grab it.  When she turned it over and saw the writing on it, the color drained from her face.  Her eyes wide with an emotion he couldn’t place, she stared at him, her movement’s stilling.  “Rick, this is my Mom’s handwriting.”


	7. Chapter 7

Kate didn’t get the opportunity to even think of what the tape might be.  She had enough time to look at the date written on the top of it, January 2nd, her mother’s distinct, curlycue number two a dead giveaway that it was hers, most likely stashed in the elephants for safekeeping.  But before she had an opportunity to react or plan her next move, McNulty had come around the corner, waving at her children, and telling her to get ready to go.

Her husband seemed to react faster than her, grabbing her wrist as she braced it on her armrest.  “Kate, are you okay?”  His blue eyes flicked back and forth between hers, his brow creased with concern.

She offered him a small smile, hoping to reassure him.  “Yeah, Rick.  I'm fine.  It's probably just a piece of evidence from one of her cases.”

His eyes narrowed as she said that, his arms wrapping around the six month old as she passed him off.  “You don't really think that, do you?”

Her lips brushed against her son’s temple, her fingers working to untangle his hands from her hair.  “It's what I need to believe right now.”  She dropped to her knees, pulling a still upset Alexis from the chair and into her arms.  “Honey, please don't feel bad.  They just slipped right off your dress.  Daddy will get them fixed for me.”  Pulling away, she wiped the tears from her oldest’s cheeks with her thumbs and offered her a much more convincing smile.  “Accidents happen.  It's okay.”  As Alexis sniffled, nodding silently, Kate pulled Carrie close, adding her to the embrace.  "Thank you both for my extra bag.  I'll see you when you get home from school tomorrow, and I'll be home all weekend long."

"A whole weekend?"  The brunette's eyes grew with joy as she pulled out of the group hug.

"Yes, Bean.  Saturday we'll do something fun as a family, and Sunday we'll go out so Dad has time to write."  While she was down, she slipped the tape into the side pocket of her bag, hoping that with it out of sight, her head might start quieting.

Standing, she faced her husband, who still wore a worried scowl.  Standing on her tiptoes, she met his lips, taking that scowl away.  "I promise.  I'm okay."

His scowl and the crease in his eyebrows disappeared at her words, the only trace of his doubt left in his eyes.  But he smiled anyway, catching her hand and offering a reassuring squeeze.  "Okay.  I'll see you tomorrow."  His head raised as he met McNulty's eye.  "And you keep her safe, please."

"No need to worry, Rick.  She's on her way to becoming one of the sharpest detectives I've ever worked with.  We have each other's backs."  His hand clapped down on her shoulder as he spoke.  But despite the compliments falling from her partner's mouth, Kate couldn't feel proud.  Because even with the tape out of sight, her mind wouldn't stop whispering about it.

As her family crowded on the elevator, she grabbed the bag, telling McNulty she needed to change her shirt, and ran up the stairs to the locker room.  On the bench in front of her locker, she pulled out the tupperware container of food, still a little warm to the touch.  On top of that, she placed the tape, knowing that she wouldn't want it to stay in her locker all weekend.  She pulled out the first shirt that her hand made contact with, a tan, button down blouse, and pulled off her black turtleneck.  After a quick swipe of deodorant under each arm, she pulled on her new shirt, the crisp material feeling cool against her skin.  She buttoned it up, not bothering to tuck it in, and shoved her bag into the locker.

When she returned to her desk, McNulty pointed to the tape on top of her food.  "What's that?"

"I have no clue."  It was the most honest answer she'd given since it fell out of the elephants.  "Maybe case notes my mother left behind, or an interview with one of her clients.  It could be anything."  Saying it out loud did nothing to suppress the voices in her head that urged her to listen to the tape now.

Her partner didn't see the confliction on her face though.  He only shrugged, grabbing his own food and heading toward the elevator.  "Let's get this stakeout started."

Stakeouts were another part of her job that her husband found fascinating.  But they weren't all he thought they were.  Once she’d been stuck with an officer who talked all night to his girlfriend, once with another who complained about everything from the temperature to the spring that dug into his ass, and a few times with multiple detectives who spent the entire stakeout describing their life story.  McNulty’s silent review of his case notes was a strange, yet comforting awkwardness that she welcomed with open arms.

Tonight, she found it hard to focus.  While McNulty looked over his notes, writing things in the margins, she watched Cortes' front door through the binoculars.  But her fingers kept running over the edges of the audio tape that rested in her lap, where she had put it after deciding that keeping it in her pocket might break it before she had the chance to listen.  Every so often, she lowered the binoculars, her gaze falling to the black marker on the side of the transparent casing.

Her actions must have caught the attention of her partner, who reached over and grabbed the tape from her lap, making her drop the binoculars.  "Clearly, this is more than just a tape.  Why does it have you all worked up?"

Her stomach turned as she tried to find the words, watching him twirl it in his fingers.  "It feels fishy.  I can't quite place why, though."

"Well, it's late, and all of Cortes' lights are out, meaning he probably fell asleep.  So let's figure out why this feels so fishy to you."  He stopped spinning the tape, holding it steady as he examined the writing.  "Who did it belong to?"

"My Mother."

"And where did you find it?"

"It fell out of the elephant sculpture on my desk.  They used to belong to her."  She could still see it sitting on her mother's desk, right next to her nameplate and a family picture.

"And the date, January second.  Does that have any sort of significance to you?"

At this, she squirmed, preparing herself to tell her partner more than she ever had.  "It's a week before she was murdered."

Her partner's head turned, his dark blue eyes wide as he studied her.  "Murdered?  Christ, Beckett, I knew she was dead, but murdered?"

"I don't like to talk about it."  Because once she started, she could feel that once familiar itch to dive into the case head first.  "Her case has been closed for a while, and I couldn't work it if I wanted to.  Besides, it's not relevant."

"Not relevant?  I think it explains your career trajectory."

She scoffed, looking away.  "Can we just get back to figuring out the fishy feeling, please?"

Her partner let out a long breath next to her, slipping the tape back into her lap.  "Well, you told me it could be a few things.  Case notes or an interview, if I remember correctly."  The nod of her head was the only answer she gave, her hands grasping the small plastic rectangle.  "The real question is, why would she hide those in a ceramic elephant that no one would think to look in?"

Her stomach sank at his words, as the odd sensation she was feeling was described.  "She wouldn't."  Case notes were always written, not spoken, and they were kept in very well organized files.  She never recorded her interviews either.  Kate didn't think she had seen a single audio tape anywhere in her mother's case notes unless it was a piece of evidence handed over by the DA.  "But what else could it be?"

McNulty shrugged.  "Whatever it is, she didn't want it falling into the wrong hands.  You could always listen to it and find out."

"Right now?"  Her eyes fell on the cassette player, the urge even more pressing now that her uneasiness was explained.  It would be so easy, and maybe it would be the break she needed to solve the case.  But as her fingers traced the corners of the evidence in her lap, her mind flashed back to her old apartment, the papers strewn over her coffee table, and the look on her family member's faces when they found her there.  She reached for the glove compartment instead, putting the tape out of sight and hopefully out of mind.  "I can't.  Not now."  Not ever.

McNulty watched her, his brows furrowing in concern.  But he must have decided it wasn't worth it to argue, shrugging his shoulders and returning his eyes to his notes.  "Whatever.  Suit yourself."

She let him read for a while longer, before interrupting his thoughts.  "Is it bad that her murder led to my career choice?"

He closed the notebook, turning to face her.  "No.  But it explains a lot."

"What do you mean?"  She opened her tupperware container of casserole, deciding that now was as good a time as ever to eat.

His face twisted as he considered what to say.  "Like, how you have this drive in you to find justice, no matter the case.  We all want it, of course, but I can see the way you calm once we bring a killer down.  And the more strange the case, the harder you work at it, long after normal people would give up."  His eyes looked past her as he thought some more, and she took the opportunity to shove some more food down her throat.  "And you seem to find it easier to be strong for the victim's family.  Which seems counter-intuitive, because I'd expect a rookie like you to be a wreck.  Hell, even I have trouble keeping it together sometimes."

"I won't lie, it brings back a lot of bad memories."  Her mind drifted back to that day, the way all the blood seemed to rush from her body when Detective Raglan had spoken, her father's choked sobs of disbelief.  "But I remember the officer who told us, and how strong he seemed.  I trusted him to get the job done, because he seemed so serious and rigid."  But he hadn't, and had instead put it in the expected box, tied up the random pieces of evidence that didn’t make sense with a bow, and shelved the case.  He wasn't willing to do the extra work to give her mother's case what it deserved.  "I decided I wanted to be like that, but with a bit more compassion, so I at least seem human.  And they'll trust me to get the job done."  Which didn’t make it easy.  Just knowing their pain and seeing them grieve made her want to cry along with them sometimes.

"Well, that's just common sense.  But usually rookies take some time to get used to that.  You took to it like a duck to water."

"That's what I mean, I know it from both sides."

"Well, maybe it'll make you a better cop.  We'll have to wait and find out."  He unbuckled his seatbelt, placing his notebook in the center console.  "If you'll excuse me, nature calls."

The door slammed behind him, shaking the small car and leaving her alone with her thoughts.  They started with his last statement, about her being a good cop, and slowly shifted back to her mother's tape.  A small voice tempted her to push it into the cassette player while he was gone, just to get an idea about whether it was evidence or not.  The glove compartment was open before she really could think about it, her hand moving toward the tape.  But her eyes saw the bright pink post-it notes next to the tape, reminding her of mornings with her family, writing notes for school lunches.  So she left the tape, closing the glove compartment as her partner got back in the car.  She handed him the binoculars as soon as he settled.  "I'm gonna go over my testimony for the Devens case.  It's your turn to stare at the door."

"Sounds good to me."  She fished the file out of her bag, and they both settled back into the silence, only the sounds of pages turning between them.

Kate arrived home before the bustle of the day had started, the whole house still asleep.  She grabbed the post-its on the island and wrote identical notes, and stuck them on the outside of each little lunchbag.   _ Get ready for a weekend of FUN! XO Mom. _  She then wandered into her bedroom, sinking into bed in her work clothes, and depositing the tape on her nightstand.

Rick turned over as she settled, pulling her close and pressing a few kisses into her neck.  "You're home,"  he whispered, still half asleep.

She pushed back into his expansive chest, a smile ghosting across her lips.  "I am.  You're in charge of school in the morning, I'll take over from there."

"Deal," he breathed.  "Get some sleep, you deserve it."  With his blessing, she allowed her consciousness to drift away, all thoughts of the strange tape going with it.


	8. Chapter 8

She was woken by a small weight placed on her stomach with care, her pudgy son giggling as he mashed at her cheeks with his hands.  Her hands came up to pull him closer, her eyes opening to greet him properly.  "Hey, Tater Tot, how are you doing?"

In response, he cooed, loud and clear, and burrowed his head into her neck, his wide and gummy grin giving her the energy to sit up with him.  "Yeah, I missed you too, buddy."

On her left, the bed dipped, her husband leaning against the headboard to watch them, the corners of his lips pulling upwards as his blue eyes shone.  "I'm glad to see you missed one of your boys."

"Oh, please."  She scoffed, leaning back to capture his lips in a kiss.  "Are you really gonna be jealous of a six-month-old?"

Rick's mouth pursed together in a sheepish grin, his hand tracing her spine as she leaned back into him.  "Well, when you put it like that."  His voice trailed off, his hand dropping to her hip as she settled against him with their son in her arms.  Oliver seemed more than content to sit there with them in silence, his head resting on Kate's shoulder and his fingers wrapped in her hair.  Rick slowed the circling of his thumb on her hip, his head lowering to her shoulder. "So, about that tape."

With one sentence, her husband's curious nature had brought back all her conflictions from the night before.  She stiffened against him, her arms wrapping tighter around Oliver as she tried to figure out what she wanted to do with it.  "I didn't listen to it."

She waited for the sarcastic remark, something he would say to make everything lighter, but it never came.  Instead, reading her only as he could, he pressed an ever so gentle kiss to her temple.  "Do you want to talk about it?"

Her bottom lip was grasped firmly between her teeth, a physical barrier keeping all her thoughts from tumbling from her mouth.  After a few moments, she had an answer for him.  "Not yet."  She hoped it conveyed her true feelings, and that he understood that she didn't want to keep him out of it this time.  If she dove down that rabbit hole, she would need him to pull her back out.

Behind her, he sighed, taking in her response in the best way he could.  "Okay."  It surprised her, that her impatient-by-nature husband would be willing to let her take the lead on this.  She wondered how much this was eating him up inside.  To thank him, she turned her head, pouring all her gratitude into a lingering kiss.  They only broke away at Oliver's grunt, his little hand pushing Rick's face away as he pulled his eyebrows together in frustration.

Kate let the laughter that bubbled in her chest free, delighting in the change of expression on her son's face.  "Was I not paying enough attention to you, Ol?"  He cooed, his hazel eyes brightening as she addressed him, delighted that she got the message.  "Well, you'll have me all to yourself until your sisters get home.  How does that sound?"

At that, she felt Rick's weight shift behind her as he shimmied away.  "Actually, while the two of you reconnect, I have a few chapters due."  He ran his fingers along the side of Oliver's face, leaning in to press a kiss to his forehead.  "Have fun with Mumma, Tater Tot!"

"Write, don't procrastinate."  She reminded him as he left, a smile curling into her face.  He dismissed her with a wave of his hand, leaving their room for his office.  Kate returned her attention to the six-month-old in her lap.  "What should we do today, Oliver?"  Gurgling, he stuck his free hand in his mouth, his expressive eyes studying her face.  “How about some floor time, then maybe turn in your bouncer.”  She took his lack of response as confirmation, and hopped up, bouncing with him as she walked, ready to start her relaxing weekend at home.

In the living room, she popped in Aladdin, on of Oliver’s favorites, and placed him on the floor.  As he realized that she had released him, he grizzled, his eyebrows pulling together in frustration.  But Kate laid on the floor with him, watching him and interacting, giving him all the attention that he craved.

She spent her afternoon with him singing songs, making him giggle, and watching his smiles.  She praised him as he started pulling himself up on all fours, rocking back and forth, and tried to encourage him to move forward.  He didn’t, instead deciding to drop his shoulders and roll toward her, falling back on movements he’d mastered long ago.

It was just before their movie was over that her husband came in, his intrusion making Oliver squeal.  “Oh, I see.  Now that you’ve had some free time with Mom, you like me again!”  Kate chuckled at him as he sat down next to her.  She watched him lean down to kiss their son’s forehead, and leaned into him as he came back up.  His arm laced around her side, pulling her closer to him.  “As nice as it is to spend this time with you, it’s almost time to go get the girls.”

“I need to change,” she grunted as she pushed herself up.  “Do you want me to take Oliver with me?  Give you more time to write?”

“I’ll join you.  I need the break.  Besides, I finished a chapter.”  At her raised eyebrow, he chuckled, raising his hands in surrender.  “I swear, I did!  With limited procrastination, I may add.”

She only chuckled, sauntering off to their room.  She grabbed the first thing that her fingers touched in her dresser, a simple black t-shirt, and a pair of dark wash jeans.  She hopped into the bathroom as she pulled the pants up, grabbing a makeup wipe to wipe away the remnants from the night before.  Using her fingers to pull her hair into a ponytail, she deemed herself ready to go.

At the door, her always prepared husband waited for her, her jacket held out in one hand, and Oliver resting on his opposite hip.  After zipping up her boots and buttoning her coat, she beckoned for the baby.  She twirled her finger in a loose tendril of hair, smiling at her son.  “Look, Tater, I even left a piece out just for you!”

He ignored her, instead playing with the fluff on her jacket, squishing the fuzz between his fingers.  Rick snaked his arm around her back, hugging the both of them close.  “And we’re off!”

Together, splashing in the puddles from melted snow, they made it to the Miller school just as the bell rung.  They didn’t need to wait long before they heard the excited shrieks of their girls, and saw the small wave of blue headed in their direction.  “Mom!  You’re here!”  They chorused, their cheeks red as they collided with her on the sidewalk.

“I told you, I had an entire weekend.”  She leaned down to press a kiss on top of each little head.  Her fingers ran over the plait in Carrie’s hair, which was helping to tame her flyaways.  “Did Dad do your braid this morning, Bean?  He did a very good job.”

“Nope!” She replied, her lips pursed together as she looked up at her mother.  “That was all Lex.”

Turning her attention to her step-daughter, Kate beamed.  “Lex, it looks great!  Who taught you?”

“I’ve been watching you every morning now, I figured it out for myself.”

A laugh from the youngest girl pulled Kate’s attention.  “And she’s been practicing on my dolls.”

“Carrie!”  Alexis blanched, the frown taking over her face.

Kate’s hand cupped the back of Alexis’ head, both comforting the girl and indicating that it was time to start walking.  “It’s nothing to be embarrassed about.  How do you think I first learned?”  Of course, it hadn’t just been dolls.  No, her mother was always willing to be a guinea pig to whatever strange hairstyles Kate came up with as a kid.  “People don’t say, ‘practice makes perfect’ for nothing, you know.”  As they walked, Alexis leaned into Kate, a quick hug before moving back up to be in the middle of everyone.

“So, how was school, everyone?”  Rick called over his shoulder, effectively changing the conversation.  It launched both Alexis and Carrie into conversation, both their faces animated as they told their stories.  Carrie told everyone all about Sara, who cheats at seven up, and how they tricked her by changing shoes while her head was down.  Alexis raved about a cool science experiment she did with milk, food coloring, and soap that she wanted to replicate at home.

“What’s on the agenda for tonight?”  Kate asked, switching Oliver to the other hip so she could lock hands with Carrie.

“I have figure skating, and Lex needs to practice violin for an hour.”  Carrie answered, leaning into her mother’s side as they crossed the street.

Squinting into the sun, she called out to her husband.  “Rick, how would you like to do this?”

She heard him chuckle, and could picture the grin that stretched across his face as he called over his shoulder.  “You’re the one who’s been too busy, what do you want to do?”

She took a moment to think about it, her eyes bouncing between both of their girls.  “I’m thinking, I listen to Alexis at home, because I haven’t heard her play in a while, and Daddy can go to Carrie’s practice.  This way, we have more time for movies and fun tonight.”

“What movies?”  The redhead asked, whipping her head around to look at Kate.

“Whatever movies you want.  This weekend is all about fun.”

At this, both girls moved faster, Alexis lacing her fingers with Rick’s to drag him behind her faster.  “Come on!  I have to practice violin for an hour!”  Kate giggled at the girl in front of her, quickening her pace to keep up with an equally eager Carrie.

Carrie and Rick ran all around the apartment to try and get to figure skating early, even though they both knew it didn’t mean they would get to leave any earlier.  They tripped over themselves as they darted around, grabbing everything she might need to throw into her bag.  They left around three times, only staying gone for around thirty seconds before one of them would burst back in, shouting about something they forgot.

Alexis set up her music stand in the living room amongst the chaos, perfectly poised in the chair as she readied her instrument.  She sat on the edge of the couch, her bright eyes trained on the music in front of her, sensing it out before she began to play.  Kate had to laugh at the girl, who looked back at her, intrigued.  “You’re fine, I promise, it’s just kind of funny.”

“What?”  her shoulders fell as she met her mother’s eyes.

“Sometimes, you’re just like them, reckless and carefree.”  Her mind drifted back to the streets, how Alexis dragged her father along, begging him to go faster.  “And then sometimes you’re like this, a perfect picture of decorum, not even letting yourself eat snacks close to bedtime.  The contrast is just funny, that’s all.”  The girl giggled, positioning the violin on her shoulder.  And that was the action that put Kate into Mom mode again.  “So, Miss Picard said we need to practice your scales with and without the bow.”

“I’ll pluck first.”  So Kate picked a couple, mostly major scales that sounded bright and happy, and asked her to play a few minor scales as well, just for practice.  Oliver didn't like the haunting melody of the minor scales, and fussed in Kate’s lap, so they didn't do as many as they probably should have.  After those, she had Alexis attempt a chromatic scale with the bow, listening as she went up each half step, and hit all 13 of those notes.  When Oliver started fussing, Kate had her pick out a song to play, knowing it would calm him down.

Sitting on her lap, Oliver watched his sister with wide eyes, his mouth in a perfect ‘o’ shape, hazel eyes following her fingers on the neck of her violin.  His head moved back and forth as he watched her bow dance across the strings, and Kate began to worry that he might fall asleep due to the hypnotic nature of it all.  So Kate got up and danced, waltzing with him around the living room as Alexis played and giggled, doing whatever she could to keep him awake.  When the hour was up, Kate shimmied with him over to the stereo, turning on music so he wouldn’t be upset.  Once the stereo was on, and he was resting in his bouncer, Alexis put her violin away, it’s purpose met.

“What do you want for dinner, Pumpkin?”  Kate called from the kitchen.

“Pizza!”  She began to stomp up the stairs, violin case and music stand in hand, until a raised eyebrow from Kate made her put the stand down.

“What kind of Pizza?  I’ll have Dad and Carrie pick it up on their way home.”

Now with only one thing in her hand to trip her up, she started back up the stairs.  “Cheese, please!”

“Got it!”  Kate dialed, placing an order for a half cheese, half sausage and pepperoni pizza.  Then texted Rick to make sure he would pick it up on the way.

They ate in the living room that night, the girls deciding on Beauty and the Beast to keep themselves occupied.  During the opening scene, Rick pulled Kate close, a laugh in his throats as he spoke.  “Did you realize, that the curse is supposed to last until the prince’s 21st birthday.  But at some point, Lumiere mentions that they’ve been cursed for ten years.  This witch literally cursed an eleven year old for not opening the door.”  He laughed.  “Well Alexis wouldn't open the door either, but that's because we taught her not to.  I hope no one would turn her into a beast.”

She laughed, her hand falling on his knee.  “I know you're in the business of finding and closing plot holes, but could we please just watch the movie?”

He scoffed.  “Okay, but when it keeps you awake at night, don't come crawling back to me.”  She laughed at him, leaning her head against his shoulder as Belle sang about not fitting in.  The girls danced and sang along to every word of Be Our Guest, and pretended to have a snowball fight during Something There.  Kate’s heart swelled as she Rick stood to dance with them during the ballroom scene, his attention focused equally on both of them.  Oliver didn’t care to dance again, and was content to watch his family from Kate’s lap.

The baby fell asleep before the end, but the older girls were still wired, pulling out Mulan and looking at their parents with wide, puppy-dog eyes.  Kate leaned over to press a kiss to her husband’s cheek.  “I’ll put this little guy in bed if you’ll start the new movie.”  at her confirmation of more, the girls cheered, and Kate rushed upstairs with the little one, praying he wouldn’t wake.

She could still feel the life they breathed upstairs, hearing the little thumps as they moved around, and she couldn’t be more thankful for this extra time at home.  Oliver let out a content sigh as she laid him down, his head turning toward the wall as he smacked his lips together.  Her finger traced the edge of his face, the jaw that reminded her of his father, and ran through his wispy hair.  She made a mental note to remember this moment, before he grew too large for her to believe it.  On her way out the door, she turned on the night-light and closed the door carefully.

Downstairs, she reclaimed her seat, and soon found her lap filled by her youngest daughter.  “Hey, Bean,” she whispered, pulling the girl closer and snuggling into her shoulder.  “I’ve missed you.”

“I missed you, too.”  She didn’t say anything else, her eyes focused on the screen as Mulan tried to act like someone she wasn’t for the matchmaker.  But Kate couldn’t focus on the movie.  Instead, all she could do was marvel at the size of her little girl, who once was as small as Oliver.  Carrie too used to fall asleep, curled up on her chest, when Rick wasn’t around to steal her.  Her hair had once been as short, and now stretched down to the middle of her back, even longer when it was wet and stretched out.  She was growing into her own person, with her own ideas and dreams, which was wonderful to see.  But sometimes Kate just wanted to hold that little one in her arms all over again.

When this movie was over, Rick announced that it was time for bed.  Despite their grumbles of disapproval, the girls didn’t fight.  Their movements were slow and lethargic, each yawning as they made their way upstairs.  Kate followed, ready to help with the bedtime routine, and tuck them in.  Carrie pulled out pajamas with penguins on them, and pulled the shirt over her braid.  Alexis wore a simple green nightgown, the color bright against her pale skin.  Kate helped Alexis brush her long hair, taking care not to pull too hard on the snarls.  They climbed into bed without asking for a story, fighting to keep their eyes open long enough to say goodnight.  Kate tucked them each into bed, gave them their favorite stuffed animals, and kissed them each on their foreheads.  “We have a day of fun ahead of us tomorrow, so sleep well.  I love you.”  They were both out before she hit the lights.

Back in her room, she found her husband sitting on their bed, the tape she had discarded on the nightstand in his hands.  It surprised her that it had taken him this long, that the impatient man hadn’t grabbed it any sooner.  “Babe, please put that down.”  Her hand covered his, her fingers snatching it away and depositing it back where she’d dropped it that morning.

“Don’t you want to know?”  His blue eyes met hers, searching for the answer.

“Of course.  But I can’t do this right now.”  She left him to walk towards the dresser, her hands reaching in the drawers for one of his shirts.

She could still feel his eyes on her, and could picture the way his eyebrows knotted together.  “Can I ask why?”

She sighed, turning toward him, her finger outstretched to indicate the second floor.  “Because, the moment I do, this fun weekend that I promised them becomes all about my mother’s murder.”  She watched the understanding wash over his face, his muscles relaxing as she answered him.  “That’s not fair to those guys.  I’ve already lapsed once on Alexis and Carrie, and that almost tore everything we had apart.  I don’t want them growing up thinking that a case is more important to me.”

He moved toward her now, pulling her close and resting his forehead against hers.  “They don’t think that.  They know you love them.”

She chuckled, lacing her arms around his neck.  “Well I’d like to keep it that way.  So I’m keeping that tape out of sight and out of mind until Sunday night.”  Her head tilted slightly so she could better meet his eye.  “I might need help keeping my time occupied so I’m not tempted, though.”

He chuckled, stealing a kiss and dragging her back towards the bed.  “Whatever you need, my love.”  It was cheesy, and ridiculous, but she followed him.  He would always be there to pull her back to their life.


	9. Chapter 9

The next morning, Kate turned the tables on the girls.  Behind her, Rick snickered as she crept into the girls’ room, her eyes falling on the redhead’s sleeping face.  She stood at the foot of Alexis’ bed and waited for Rick to stand by Carrie.  They met eyes and melded minds, holding up fingers to count down.  Three.  Two.  One.

She fell onto the bed, catching herself on her biceps, giggling at their antics.  “Wake up. Wake up!  I'm hungry!  Come on, why aren't you up yet?”  Underneath her, her stepdaughter giggled, pulling the blankets up around her head.

“Ten more minutes.”

“No! Food now!”

In the bed next to her, Rick did the same, attacking Carrie with his fingers as she fought to stay under the covers.  “What are we doing today?  Will it be lots of fun? I never have any fun, you know!”

Alexis had surrendered, flailing as the blankets lay abandoned.  “Stop! Please, stop!”  She pushed Kate's hands away as she tried to catch her breath, so Kate gave her a moment to recover.  “Why are we in charge of breakfast?  You guys are the adults, it's your job!”

“Yeah!” Carrie chorused from the other bed.

“Sure, but when we said ‘fun weekend’ we weren't talking about you two.”  Rick teased, his face serious.

“Yeah, we kind of want to be kids again.”  At this, Kate fell forward, landing on top of Alexis, and snuggling in.  “This bed is so comfortable, I don't think I'll ever get out.”

Alexis coughed under the extra weight, laughing as she pushed Kate to the side.  “Mom, get off!”

Kate groaned as she rolled over, giving the redhead room to breathe.  “You never share your things with me.  Didn’t your Daddy ever teach you to share?”

From the other bed, Rick poked his head up, pausing the tickle attack on the brunette.  “In her defense, she didn’t have anyone to share with until Carrie got bigger.”

“That’s true,” Kate conceded, “I guess you just haven’t had the practice.”  She squirmed so she could lie on her back next to Alexis, her eyes trained on a spot on the ceiling.  “But seriously, what are we having for breakfast?”

“Do we have to make it?”  The redhead countered, her voice unsure.

“Not all by yourself.  We can all help.”

There was a thud on the floor as Carrie rolled out of her bed, crawling across the floor to join the party on the other bed.  “Can we have smoothies?”  Her squeaky voice was hoarse from laughter and sleep, and made Kate’s heart skip a beat.

“Of course, Bean.”

Alexis pushed herself up, her hands rubbing the sleep from her eyes.  “I want pancakes.”

“Only if they’re chocolate chip.”  Rick replied, coming to stand by the foot of the bed.  His eyes ghosted over each of them, his grin stretching as he watched Carrie climb up and settle on top of Kate.

Kate pulled the young girl close, pressing a kiss to her cheek.  “Do you want to help cut the fruit for smoothies while I go get your brother?”

The girl pushed off of her almost as suddenly as she had climbed on.  “I want banana and blueberries in mine!”  She ran, thundering down the stairs without them.

Rick held up a finger and walked toward the door.  “I should probably follow her.”

As he followed her downstairs, his steps more sure, Kate turned to the redhead who occupied the small bed with her.  “Do you want to start mixing the batter for the pancakes?”

Her blue eyes met Kate’s as she grinned.  “Can we make blueberry ones too?”

“Of course!” Kate laughed, pushing herself up.  “I’ll be down to help in a minute.”

The thundering of his older sister must have woken Oliver, who was sitting up in his crib, waiting for someone to grab him.  His gummy grin made Kate's heart melt as he saw her.  As she lifted him, he settled his head into her neck, happy to be in her arms.  "Hi, sweet boy."  She greeted him, her hand rubbing soothing circles into his back.  "Are you gonna let me put you down for your diaper change?"  Oliver only yawned on her shoulder in response, his arms resting by his sides.  "Oh, you're still sleepy."  She brushed her finger around his hairline as she laid him down on the changing table.  "Trust me, Tater Tot, I feel your pain."

It didn't matter that her husband had tried to loosen her up, or wear her out before they slept.  It didn't matter when he slept next to her, his arm draped protectively over her, his snores soft in her ear.  The tape on her nightstand called out to her.  She kept trying to push it out of her mind by thinking of her family, by remembering Alexis' shocked face when they found her in her old apartment.  Telling herself that her family deserved better drove her to wait.  But that didn't mean she wasn't thinking about it.

Lifting her son again to her chest, they made their way downstairs.  "Maybe we'll have a big family nap today.  What do you think of that, Oliver?"

"You can't be tired already!  We just woke up!"  Carrie called from the counter, where she was carefully cutting pieces of banana.

In response, Rick pulled away from Alexis, who was reading recipes, to come to her side.  "I never even asked how you slept last night."

She pressed a kiss to his cheek before walking to the cabinets.  "I'm fine, don't worry."  He studied her, his blue eyes fixed on her as she pulled down a stack of plates.  He didn't seem to believe her, but didn't push.  He wouldn't in front of the kids.  Instead, he made his way back to Alexis, and began reading the instructions to her over her shoulder.

While Kate set the table and ran the blender for Carrie, Alexis made blueberry and chocolate chip pancakes, and Rick cooked bacon in a pan next to her.  They all sat down together and had a lively breakfast, Alexis and Carrie chattering about all the things they wanted to do over the weekend, Rick listening to their plans with rapt attention, and Oliver chiming in with noises of approval.

It was when Kate was putting away leftovers that she had to throw a wrench in their plans.  "Why is there no food in the fridge?"

From his spot at the head of the table, Rick looked up, sheepish.  "I haven't had the time.  I was planning on going while you had your day alone with everyone tomorrow."

"And in the meantime, what were we supposed to eat?"

He shrugged.  "Takeout?"

As the refrigerator door closed, she laughed, letting the tension in her shoulders relax, her head shaking at the ridiculous man she married.  Carrie and Oliver joined in, the youngest's laughter forced as he looked around for attention.  Kate rejoined them at the table, pressing a kiss to the baby's head.  "This is exactly why Mumma shouldn't get crazy cases."  She turned to address her husband.  "We're going today."

"That's not fun!"  Carrie blanched from the seat next to her.

"Well, that's life sometimes, kiddo.  We have to do things we don't want to."  Leaning down to whisper in her daughter's ear, she giggled.  "And sometimes to make ourselves feel better about it, we go out for ice cream after."

Rick clapped his hands together, making the small body in front of Kate jump.  "There we have it!  Grocery shopping and ice cream.  Let's get dressed!"  They didn't need convincing, both girls jumped up and thundered up the stairs, debating the best ice cream flavors between the two of them.

Once they were out of earshot, Rick retrained his gaze on her.  "You never answered me earlier.  How did you sleep?"

She took a breath, trying her best to figure out how to answer him.  "Remember the last time something came up about Mom's case?"  His shoulders fell, his eyes becoming sympathetic.  "It's not even nightmares that I have to worry about, it's my mind that won't shut up, and keeps me awake thinking of everything that could be."

"So, not great."  She grabbed a sponge and wiped down Oliver's tray, only nodding at his understatement.  "So why not just listen, get it over with?  So at least if it's nothing, you can sleep?"

"Not until the weekend is over."  She could see in the way he set his jaw how frustrated he was with her stubbornness.  But she wasn't going to sacrifice her family for her Mom's case, not again.  Lifting Oliver, she walked toward the stairs to get him ready for the day.  "I kind of just want to drop it, please."

Rick sighed.  "Okay.  I'm sorry."

"It's fine."  He cared.  And he didn't know what to do.  She couldn't be upset with him for that.  "I'm fine," she called from the stairs, "and I love you."

Grocery shopping was not exactly easy with three kids.  It only got worse when her husband was just as bad as the children, grabbing every sugary thing that made his taste buds water.  Between him and Carrie, their cart was full of cookies and cupcakes that Kate had to put back.  When the Oreos went back on the shelf, Carrie began to whine.  “But Mom!  Dad said yes!”

“Yeah!  Dad said yes!”  Rick piped up from behind Kate, his hands resting on her hips.

“Well, we don’t need them.”  She shot Carrie a look that stopped her next whine in it’s tracks.  “Besides, I wanted to bake cookies tonight.”

This had Alexis turning, her blue eyes wide with excitement.  “The famous cookies you made the first time you babysat me?”

Kate laughed.  “Those are the ones."

After getting enough food to feed an army for at least two weeks, they brought it all back home.  The girls helped put everything away, the promise of ice cream looming in their future.  After bathroom breaks and a diaper change, they were on their way to the nearest ice cream parlor.

Oliver was content eating some of Kate’s mint chocolate chip, the green ice cream dribbling on his chin.  Rick had some chocolate, caramel, cookie dough concoction that he ate with a grin.  Alexis was always happy with cookies and cream, while Carrie enjoyed peanut butter cups in hers.  They ate in relative silence, savoring their respective flavors.  It was Alexis that spoke up first, her bright blue eyes meeting Kate’s.  “Mom, do you remember the first time you babysat me?”

“Of course.”  She wouldn’t ever forget that weekend, spending one on one time with her best friend’s child.

“Do you think we could do a fashion show again, with Oliver?”

Kate laughed.  “Is that what you both want to do?”  At Alexis’ emphatic nod, Kate turned her attention to Carrie.

The younger girl grinned, her eyes shining as she looked between her mother and sister.  “I don’t remember, but it sounds fun.”

At Carrie’s confirmation, Kate narrowed her eyes and stared down her husband.  “Only if Dad will wear the fairy wings.”

Both girls whipped their heads in his direction, their eyes wide and pleading as they begged him to wear them.  The fairy wings had been retired by him for the most part, once Carrie was old enough for the girls to amuse each other.  Now they only came out on special occasions, when someone was sick and needed a good laugh, or when they had a bad day at school.

His eyes twinkled as he watched them, his shoulders heaving as he chuckled.  “Okay.  You’ve convinced me.”

The table erupted into cheers, making other families turn to watch, but all Kate cared about was the happiness of her bunch.  They ate now with more speed, Carrie complaining more than once about brainfreeze, making them all laugh at her scrunched up face.  And before long, Alexis and Carrie were practically dragging their parents out of there, rushing toward their house to prepare.

Kate made the executive decision that they would change downstairs.  Alexis was fine to carry Oliver over short distances, but she didn’t want to risk anything with the stairs.  Like before, Kate rolled paper towels along the floor like a makeshift runway, ending it in the living room.  The girls brought a few costumes downstairs and hid them behind the island, where they were going to change.  And Rick and Kate waited on the couches, his arm around her, rubbing soothing circles onto her shoulder.  She fought to keep her eyes open as she leaned against him.  The fun day and lack of sleep was catching up with her.

When the kids were ready, someone pressed play on the stereo, Madonna's  _ Material Girl _ blasting from the speakers.  Then they made their way down, strutting their stuff along the way.

Oliver had never lived through halloween, meaning he only had a few options available in his size.  First, they went with Carrie’s old elephant costume, which was still too large for the boy, and hung off of him.  He didn’t like the trunk hood either, and pushed it from his head as they walked.  Next the girls went as cowgirls, Carrie’s hat perched atop Oliver’s instead, so they were all themed the same.  And of course, when they dressed like princesses, they added a tiara to his head and a beaded necklace.  After three costumes and the undivided attention of both his sisters, the baby became grumpy, fussing from behind the island.  “I’ve got him.”  Kate spoke, rushing back to the changing area to find him sitting in his onesie, the kitty costume from years ago grasped in Alexis’ hand.  “I think he’s done.”  She picked him up, rescuing him from another round of costumes.  “But I’m happy to watch the rest of your costumes.”

Alexis grinned.  “Tell Dad to get his fairy wings and meet us back here.”

From the living room, he shouted.  “Got it.”

On her way back to the couch with Oliver, Kate grabbed the camera from the side table.  She wasn’t missing this.  Besides, every fashion show was supposed to have photographers.

He almost tripped as he ran back to them, kneeling low so Kate couldn’t see what was up.  The giggles from her girls told her that they were having fun, so she pressed some kisses into Oliver’s neck to get him to make the same noises.

When the music started again, Kate was ready, the camera on and pointed in the direction of the island.  Carrie came out first, still in her princess outfit, her hair in a makeshift updo, her curls flopping in the top of her head.  Alexis wore a long blue cape, like the Fairy Godmother in Cinderella, a magic wand grasped in her hands.  And Rick emerged behind them, wearing a tiara and all the costume jewelry with his fairy wings, a silver sequined scarf wrapped around his neck.  Kate snapped pictures of all of them, their sassy walks down the catwalk making her laugh.  She got one of Rick blowing a kiss in her direction, making her giggle.  He took a moment to point at her, laughter dancing in his eyes.  “You better not sell these to the paparazzi.”

She chuckled.  “I wouldn’t dream of it, babe.”

Later they made cookies and played karaoke, trying to see who knew more Disney songs than everyone else.  Carrie surprised most everyone, knowing the words to even classic songs from movies that they didn’t watch as much.  Only Kate was unsurprised, watching her daughter with pride.  “She has always been the musical one.”  

Kate helped with bath time like usual, and read the girls a story, her mind quieting as Carrie fell asleep to her words, the rise and fall of her chest soothing and relaxing her.

That night, instead of letting the tape whisper to her as she slept, she willed herself to think of the laughter of her kids.  It took some time, but she fell asleep, wrapped in the arms of her husband.  She didn’t know it, but Rick waited for her telltale snores before he let himself drift off.

**Author's Note:**

> First off, I would love to give a huge shoutout to Brandi, my beta, for looking this over and letting me bounce my crazy idea off of her. Also, a shoutout to Ali for also letting me bounce ideas off of her (She likes when I give her insider info!). Second, I want to stress that unlike Little Bean, I can't commit to a weekly schedule. I don't really have a schedule that's set in stone anymore. What I can do is try my hardest to write at least 1000 words on my days off, so that the updates will hopefully be semi-regular! I'm going to be living at Disney again, so I may slip, but I will do my best to keep up with it. And again, thank you all for your support and enthusiasm!


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